Surviving R Kelly……..How long will it last folks?

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write an article on this topic or not. There are a lot of things I don’t know about this man and the stories that have been told about him.  There are a few things I do know via hearsay but nothing solid.  Honestly I feel sorry for this man and his victims.  I feel sorry for him because I truly feel he needs help and people around him have enabled his behavior.  I have read a few of the past stories about him online over the years and his childhood, and he has suffered sexual abuse and trauma which he has been vocal about.  Whats crazy is, many people in his circle including celebrities and fans have took a blind eye to actions that he has and swept them under the rug.  Now this document series comes out about him and victims that he has had encounters with are speaking out, but why has it took so long?  Shame, embarrassment, or has the #metoo movement allowed us to be more comfortable with speaking out?

I can only speak from my opinion which should be took with a grain of salt because I do not know this man personally or his victims. I will say that being from Chicago myself, I heard stories of him going to High school basketball games, or just being at some of the local Chicago high schools. I never had an opinion on “why” but being that I graduated in 2001 from HS, this was the prime time of his career, he was a a huge celebrity in the city of Chicago.  I never actually seen him at a high school but people that I knew who attended some of the schools he frequented such as Kenwood HS or Oak Park River Forest HS would see him all the time.  When the sex tape came out back in 2002, I knew a few people who attended Oak Park River Forest HS which as the school the alleged 14 year old girl attended.  Many of the people knew her and said that she was popular, had a new car which was paid for by R Kelly, and she played basketball so he would be at her games – weird. At the time the tape came out I believe she was a junior or senior and the tape had been made years ago, so a male friend of mine mentioned she switched schools once people started recognizing her from the tape.  From what I understand her family was paid off by R Kelly and after he beat the case there was no other mentions of it, and everything was denied that she was apart of it. These are the stories I have heard about that infamous sex tape.  I did see it way back then because some friends had a copy of it, and you can definitely tell it was him, no question.

I believe that many of the parents and young women were star struck, and I am pretty sure wanted to be in the presents of a celebrity or to be chosen as his protege.  People look and love opportunity  and many people will put pride, and self respect aside to obtain it, such as Reality TV stars. Lets be real – how REAL is reality TV and how much air time will you get if you are not willing to do something petty or demeaning for ratings?  I look at it the same way, many of these women probably were taken advantage.  It probably happens all the time by many OTHER celebrities, they just have not got caught or being protected. For example, Hugh Hefner is a common name, P Diddy – has been dating Cassie, and she was not at legal age, Tyga and Kylie Jenner…that was in the news for a while but then people turned a blind eye to it after they broke up. This mess has been going on for years. From what I can see in R Kelly’s case, these women were mentally manipulated and abused to an extent that they could not communicate with their parents or family.  Why has this been going on so long, and why didn’t anyone speak up or do anything about it?  Why now? It baffles me that it has taken so long for people to speak out or to have this man investigated.  Everyone is to blame! Also why are there NEW women, these stories have been publicized about him for years stemming back to 2001.

Last I want to speak on his ex-wife Drea Kelly, something isn’t right about her. I feel like she has known that this mess was going on, and wanted nothing to do with the man but was willing to stay quiet as long as the checks started rolling in, and her bills was paid.  Now that people are catching on, and women are speaking against him, I feel she is ready to jump on the band wagon when she could had spoke on this YEARS ago, especially if you are his ex- wife and have children with this man. I feel like she has been a victim of mental and physical abuse, and believe her story but why speak up when its convenient for you?  Google her and review some of her past video postings online speaking on the situation.  I will post an article I viewed on the Breakfast Club which gives a good insight on what one of the victims went through, I find her credible because she also testified back in his trial for the sex tape scandal.  You can check the interview out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcTs_tqTqEE

These are just a few of my random thoughts! What do you think?? Follow me at piinkdiivablog on Instagram.

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The Importance of Mental Health

This has been a topic in the media lately.  Let me know if you agree. There has been quite a few celebrity’s in the past few years committing suicide.  When you think of a celebrity lifestyle with fame, fortune and money, an average person such as myself would feel like whats there to be sad and depressed about?  I guess the saying is true, More Money More Problems. You never really know until your in the situation what comes along with it.

Mental Health – a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.

In my opinion, mental health begins as a child.  Your experiences, and environment shapes you as you grow into your own.  When we become adults we either run from our past or repeat it because this is all we know.   Many children are exposed to things that have hurt their mental health and never received any treatment for it, so this behavior they are accustom to becomes normalized. What tends to happen is we gravitate to those who have had similar experiences because they are relate-able, and repeat a cycle which could be abusive relationships, drugs, promiscuity, crime etc. Kids look up to those closest to them which could be a parent, sibling, family member, friend.  Sometimes and in many cases these folks aren’t the best example, so what tends to happen is this child, now an adult grows up to believe that those experiences are normal, and this shows love.  In other cases there are children who vear the other way and do everything in their power not to repeat a generational cycle and go another route.  Many of these children have some form of mentor, or person in their life they pay attention to that may have overcome adversity, or find something to break the cycle for them such as getting a good education, using a talent, moving away and living with family members more stable etc.  

Mental Health affects you as an adult in many ways because what you feel and think can determine your decision making in life.  These thoughts and feelings are the driver of positive and negative energy. Your mental health can cause you to act out, or make rash decisions you cannot change later.  Many of these decisions not only hurt you, but others you care about. If mental health is not taken seriously, there is a large increase in crimes, murders, and abuse. Erratic behavior and episodes are prime examples that their could be something mentally not stable with a person. The answer is not always medication because the downside of medicating a mental illness is you become dependent on it to live life. The drugs make you feel as if you have thing sunder control, but your a dose away from hurting yourself and others. Many murders in jail have experiences as a child that has shaped them into believe their crime was justified or they were exposed to this behavior. 

I honestly believe once someone mentally has checked out, its hard to get back to that place of sanity. Reason is your constantly finding ways to cope,  This can be drugs, medication, and other actions that can hurt yourself and others. Mental health plays a huge role on your physical health as well. The drugs you put into your body can have affects on your health and organs. Think of all the celebrities who were affected by mental illness for whatever reason, most died of drug overdose. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Prince, Teena Marie, Mac Miller and the list goes on.  Lets pray for Kanye West because he is clearly not mentally all there at this time. Suicide is real too, Kate Spade, Robin Williams just to name a few. Whats your thought on this topic?!

Thank you for reading! 

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What the Hell is wrong with this picture?

I really hate that we even need to have this as a topic of discussion but it goes to show how you can take a girl out the hood but you won’t take the hood out the girl. I’m sure y’all have read the blogs and saw the TMZ videos of this feud between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. I’m going to keep my synopsis short and sweet. There’s a time and place for everything and in my opinion when you reach a certain level in your career especially as a world entertainer, you learn to pick your battles. I understand Cardi B hold close to her motto, “I’m gonna be me whether someone likes it or not and I didn’t sign up to be a role model” basically I’m summarizing how she refers to herself in my opinion with that quote. What about the people around her, didn’t anyone in their right mind hollar at her and y’all her out of acting a plum fool??? Why not wait till you catch her in the street if you want to be ratchet but why at a high profile event? Is it that serious? Plus Cardi has shown to be a hipocrit, she cries when someone’s picking on her but Cardi is just as much a bully as Nicki. Yes I think Nicki throws shots and definitely gets under her skin but why not challenge each other with a rap battle, keep it on wax, what’s grown ass women fighting going to do? That’s my take on it, just didn’t make sense to act out. Now you messing with your own bag cause Nicki technically could use this against Cardi legally if she wanted to really be a bitch. Now that isn’t worth it.

Nicki had has her podcast Queen radio where she goes clean in on Cardi and honestly I don’t blame her. She should get clowned for looking a damn fool with her ass out. 😫😦😒

What you think?

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What Happened to Lyrics that Matter?

Good morning!  I was inspired to write a post on this song by Kanye West, it was one of his biggest hits at the start of his career, and to me, one of the most lyrical profound songs.  I am talking about “All Falls Down” featuring Syleena Johnson.  It was released in 2004 on the album The College Dropout.  He really changed a lot from when he first came out as a rap artist.  His music had great messages.  I am not taking away what his music sounds like now, but I do feel some of his best work was before he became “Hollywood.”  Please see what I mean below.  I will put the lyrics below and give my synopsis on them. 

Man I promise, she’s so self conscious
She has no idea what she’s doing in college
That major that she majored in don’t make no money
But she won’t drop out, her parents will look at her funny
Now, tell me that ain’t insecure
The concept of school seems so secure
Sophomore three years aint picked a career
She like fuck it, I’ll just stay down here and do hair
Cause that’s enough money to buy her a few pairs of new Airs
Cause her baby daddy don’t really care
She’s so precious with the peer pressure
Couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexus
She had hair so long that it looked like weave
Then she cut it all off now she look like Eve
And she be dealing with some issues that you can’t believe
Single black female addicted to retail and well

This first verse speaks to over 75% of college students that grow up in environment with obstacles.  Its almost like a story and you can see this girls face, and the struggle of doing what is best for her, and her child…..along with meeting others expectations. 

Man I promise, I’m so self conscious
That’s why you always see me with at least one of my watches
Rollies and Pasha’s done drove me crazy
I can’t even pronounce nothing, pass that versace!
Then I spent 400 bucks on this
Just to be like nigga you ain’t up on this!
And I can’t even go to the grocery store
Without some ones thats clean and a shirt with a team
It seems we living the american dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us
We trying to buy back our 40 acres
And for that paper, look how low we a’stoop
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coop/coupe

This is my favorite verse because its soooo real.  The last line speaks volume, “Even though you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coupe, meaning don’t material how many material fancy thing you accomplish, you still a nigga. Period. Deep.

I say fuck the police, that’s how I treat em
We buy our way out of jail, but we can’t buy freedom
We’ll buy a lot of clothes when we don’t really need em
Things we buy to cover up what’s inside
Cause they make us hate ourself and love they wealth
That’s why shortys hollering “where the ballas’ at?”
Drug dealer buy Jordans, crackhead buy crack
And a white man get paid off of all of that
But I ain’t even goin’ act holier than thou
Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with 25 thou
Before I had a house and I’d do it again
Cause I wanna be on 106 and Park pushing a Benz
I wanna act ballerific like it’s all terrific
I got a couple past due bills, I won’t get specific
I got a problem with spending before I get it
We all self conscious I’m just the first to admit it

These are the type of messages that may me enjoy listening to Kanye, I cant say I am going to be anxious to hear his new album, but I may listen to see what his message is now.  Thanks for Reading!!!!

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What Really is Free Thought?

I spent sometime this morning watching the TMZ interview with Kanye West and it really made my heart flutter with feeling sorry for him, but also finding a space for understanding what he is trying to convey. Let me start by first saying:  Kanye West from what I know about his career, has been through alot of pain in the past few years.  He morphed into this Hollywood bubble and it has taken him to a sunken place. I feel his actions is a cry for help to pull him out.  In this sunken place he has seen many things and his messaging to us, does not properly allow him to convey the message. Here are a few things that I feel contributed to his depression:

Passing of his mother, Car accident that fractured his face at the start of his career, Fallout with JayZ and Beyonce, the Taylor Swift controversy, Marriage to Kim Kardashian and the body shaming, he now has 3 kids all under the age of 5 years old….being put in a mental hospital, speaking out during the telethon for Katrina, and being criticized by the media just to name a few. We now know he has been put on Opioids and came out the hospital put on even more medication because this is what your told will make you better…..really????  I am sure there is more that we don’t even know about that this man has been through.  It does not matter how much money you have, it wont buy happiness. Hollywood is a fake world and you can easily get sucked in and kicked out and I think this is what he is fighting. 

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He speaks alot about Free Thought, and unfortunately humans do not have free thought.  We are taught how to feel, think, and live.  If we go against this as a human in today’s society, you are black balled, crazy, mentally ill, or incarcerated because you become a threat to society now. I will use people like TuPac for an example, he use to speak out about issues in the 90’s and injustice. Third led him to his unsolved murder 20 years later. I feel like he has a message but not able to convey it.  His mind is working over time to express how he feels that he speaks in circles or says things that only his mind understands. When he speaks of free thought – I feel he is saying, not living by society or man made standards, but being able to express ones self and belief.  Just because your told the sky is blue, do you have to identify the sky as blue if that’s now how your mind and eyes see it? If you express to the world that its not blue will you be marked as crazy, or ill? If you go against society, YOU are now the problem.  Which is true. Whoever hold the power can dictate whats right or wrong in this society. What Kanye needs to understand is that there are consequences for having FREE Thought.  We are not mentally FREE and never will be.  Yes, he has a platform to rant and reach many people to join this world of free thought, but what he does not get is that MAJORITY of us are working class citizens that will face REAL life CONSEQUENCES IF we try to go against society and create this FREE Thought. Yes in a perfect world I would love to challenge society and speak out about what is right and wrong, slavery, racism, gender-ism, and all the other issues in today’s society, but it doesn’t work like that.  You can get killed, jailed, lose your job. Look at Rachel Dozeal, the lady who was head of the NAACP, she has been black balled, cant find a job outed as a white woman faking to be black.  Although she did alot for the black community, that does not matter.  She went against what society says she is, and is marked as a liar so nothing else matter so of what she has done so far. I watched her Nextflix movie, called Being Rachel….and I learned more about how she became moved by living as a black woman.  She has a story.  She had mental issues from her childhood that morphed her to believe this is how she wanted to live her life.  She was abused etc. I don’t want to go into detail but if you watch, you will understand her story and why she lives her life this way. She is using FREE THOUGHT.  This is her TRUTH to her.  Look at the consequences she is facing for this Free Thought.  That is my problem with Kanye.  Yes I agree lets use LOVE as a way to make the world GREAT AGAIN, but its not our reality. ITS NOT! Love wont solve all because human emotions are not designed for us to do this. I understand he has a message but he is going to face alot of backlash or risk his life.  Many people who go against society, nothing good comes out of it.

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Living your life in a bubble, constantly being judged and dealing with non stop criticism can make anyone mentally stressed/crazy.  The human mind is so strong, but can only take so much. I feel like Kanye needs real friends around him to bring him back to the young Chicago boy hungry to rap and send positive messages. If you listen to his first few albums he had REAL messages that we could relate to, especially as an African American.  He spoke to the people, which made us listen and earn a respect of him. After the passing of his mother, I feel he just tried to surround himself with things to take his mind off of the pain and hurt, and he got caught up in this drama of drugs, drinking and fake people.  He married Kim who spends her life in the media, seeking attention, and to be this big reality start in this Hollywood fake worlds, which is everything Kanye West goes against. You look up 7-8 years later and now you have liposuction because Hollywood body shamed you – the one thing that you hated because it killed your mother.  You marry a woman who has alot of plastic surgery done on her body to keep up with the standards of society. You take pictures with the Donald Trump how is racist, lets make America Great again, instead of speaking out on your own campaign, not acknowledging the Republicans or Trump, you play and feed right into it which caused an uproar. I get what he was attempting to do, and don’t feel its from a malicious place, I feel like he is stressed and his mind is working overtime to put a message out that has not been well developed, processed and though through. At this point lets pray for him and hope that he gets the guidance and encouragement he needs to get back to the MUSIC. Thank you for Reading!

Watch TMZ interview here: https://youtu.be/lWJBWU7asEg

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Current Favorites!

Good morning!  Today I wanted to share some of my favorites.  Many of these things are random but its always cool to share interests so others can try them out as well.  My favs wont be in any specific order but definitely take a look and try them out if interested.

Restaurants – I am from Chicago so most of these are in major cities.

Benihana – I am a super fan of Hibachi.  My husband and I have tried many Hibachi restaurants but they “take the cake.”  I typically go with the Benihana Delight which has Fried rice, teriyaki chicken and colossal shrimp. What makes them so good is you get a 5 course meal which includes Miso Soup, Salad with Ginger dressing, shrimp and veggie appetizer, fried rice and your main course. You also get dessert which is your choice of ice cream.  Prices are reasonable about 23-33.00 per meal depending on what main course you order.This is a great family outing or date night place. https://www.benihana.com/

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Ruth Chris – This place has the best Lobster Mac and Cheese, and stuffed chicken.  If you are looking for a great place to have a semi-expensive meal or date night, try them.  The stuffed chicken is seasoned perfectly. I usually get asparagus or the creamed spinach as sides. The prices range is about 100.00 or so for two people.  This can make a difference if you order drinks or not.  Its def worth trying out if you haven’t already. https://www.ruthschris.com/

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Twin Peaks – This is a new sports bar that has a Hooters type feel.  It has good bar food and drinks, with many TV’s to watch the game.  They also have an outside patio where you can eat outside, or watch the game on TV’s outside during the warmer months ( I am in Chicago, so its cold here lol). It has great lemon pepper wings, and Fish tacos.  They have beer specials and a decent selection of cocktail drinks.  If you have one in your area its worth checking out. https://twinpeaksrestaurant.com/

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Zara Clothing – I love this store because they have very unique pieces.  The jeans fit great but can be hit or miss depending on how curvy you are. This is a UK brand so the sizes run smaller than American sizes. Its a very fashionable store if you want to look cute and trendy and have some original pieces in your closet. Price wise when they have a sale, you can get some great deals, but they can run on the pricier side. They cater to men and women ages small kids to maybe about 40 or so. https://www.zara.com/us/

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Akira Store – This is my absolute go to store for shopping! This is the “Im a baddie, and wanna hit the club with my girls boutique. The clothes are typically for a women 18-40 ish depending on your style of dress.  They can be pretty pricey but if you catch a sale, your winning! They pretty much follow the latest trends and ship all over the country. https://www.shopakira.com/

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Sephora – If you a woman who loves make up, you will have a frenzy in this store, they are the queens of skincare and make up brands. I can go broke in this place. I have to go when I get paid cause if not I will walk out without my coins. They are pricey. Period. If you want to find great products and top of the line brands, this is your store.

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Crowds Queue For The Opening Of Sydney's First Sephora Store

Migos – Right now if I am in the turn up mood, I go to the Migos. Their culture II album is pretty good if you don’t mind the lyrics. They do talk about certain subjects that may give you a headache, but honestly I just listen to the beat when I am in a turn-up mood.

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H.E.R. – She is the bomb.  She has sultry soulful music that puts you in a laid back trance.  Its easy to ride to in the car, or listen to while getting dressed to go out. She has a soulful vice with a mystery feel.  Its definitely worth a listen if you like fresh R&B.

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NetFLIX – I refuse to pay for cable again because to me its such a waste of money. Half of the shows I never watched when we did buy it.  Honestly if you have internet, just having Netflix which has thousands of shows and movies for only 12.00 a month, you can beat it.  I also like HULU which is similar to NetFlix just has more TV shows. So if you looking to save on cable, I would go with NetFlix.  https://www.netflix.com/

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Here are a few awesome shows to check out on NetFlix if you decide to buy:

Stranger Things – Season 1 https://www.netflix.com/title/80057281

Seven Seconds – Season 1 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6297682/

Gotham – 5 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/80020542

Breaking Bad – Season 1 https://www.netflix.com/title/70143836

Sons of Anarchy 6 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/70143844

Walking Dead 7 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/70177057

Fellas – If you want a Cologne that smells amazing try these out next time your on a smell good run!

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I will be sharing more items soon!  If you try any of these please let me know your thoughts and if you know of any good stores, restaurants, products etc – please share, thank you for reading!

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