Postpartum – That’s some Real SHHHHH

I want to start off by saying, I am grateful that I do not have this – but I want to address how close you can become to having it if you were able to avoid what many mothers experience after giving birth. The best way I can describe it from a non-diagnosed stand point is a depression and or life changing event that causes your life that you knew before motherhood to have gone away and everything is weighting on you.  Having children is one of the biggest life changes because once its done, it cant be reversed.  When a child is born they are now a living spirit that needs care and love to be able to survive on this earth until GOD calls them home.  For a parent, this is a huge responsibility.  Many take it for granted but that’s another conversation.  Women connect with their child as soon as pregnancy is confirmed.   The fact that you can feel and see this ball cells forming in your body with a heartbeat within thanks to modern technology is amazing and causes a woman to instantly connect to this life she created. It truly is a gift. BUT, although you carry this little embryo/fetus around with you for 9 months, your life is still somewhat the same because it hasn’t physically arrived.   

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When your little human makes their entrance your so excited and cant wait to make them feel safe and loved if your a good parent.  We have this picture painted in our mind so of the type of mother we will be.  What happens with postpartum is that after you get home and the banter of a new baby from friends and family dies down, the reality of the responsibility kicks in from numerous diaper changes, crying, lack of sleep, excess body baby weight, not feeling yourself, other kids in the home if you have multiple, managing the home, husband or partner, cooking cleaning, going back to work among trying to find time to give yourself self care and manage a social life…alot right? Mothers do it all – especially career orientated moms.  With all this being said, this can cause a mother to spazz out and completely lose it if she does not have a good support system whether it be a spouse, parent, friends, care givers, partner etc.  Many woman have committed suicide cause they couldn’t take it, or even abandoned their families.  Shit gets Real! I am greatful that I have a grip on raising my daughter and my own life by staying true to me and keeping the hobbies that make me who I was before becoming a mother.  Taking time for myself as I can.  I still have a long way to go, she is only almost 4 months, but I got a good start such as making a space in the house for me and what I like to do such as blog/write/read. Keeping my facial treatments together, going back to work to take time to myself without the baby. Making play dates or dinner dates with other moms, just to name a few.  

What was your postpartum story and any advice for other moms? Thanks for Reading!

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A Few Ways to Self Care in 2019

Good morning!

Happy Hump day…..I wanted to discuss a topic that is important to our physical and mental health.  Its easy to get caught up in the day to day of life and forget about keeping your self mentally and physically healthy.  I wanted to pinpoint some ways that have helped myself, along with others regroup, and get back on track when things get foggy.  First lets describe what self care is: “the practice of taking an active role in protecting ones own well being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”

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Below are some ways that can potentially get you on the right track towards loving yourself first and making time for the small things that are easily overlooked when it comes to your well-being.

  1. Keep a planner or notebook with your feelings and thoughts – this is a great way to keep track of your future goals and plans.  Its proven that when you right down a goal, it becomes a plan, a plan in return becomes an action.  Keep your thoughts organized and set yourself deadlines on when you plan on executing these goals  either short term or long term. I myself have went through tons of planners and after a while they get put somewhere and forgotten, so make sure you choose  planner that is easy to bring with you, or keep near in times that you need to jot down a thought/feeling. 
  2. Take a break away from Social Media – close up shop and disengage.  Stop sharing your life with people you don’t speak to day to day.  Does it matter what the guy from senior year high-school 15 years ago is doing, or what your ex boyfriends kids look like? NO…..certain things should be private.  I was a big social media person a year ago but when I started a family and accumulated more things of value, I wanted to only share this with those I trust and love.  Social media is a great way to connect on a business stand point and with true friends but also can cause depression and envy during times of stress.  Log off and put away the social media and focus on the meaningful relationships in your life. 
  3. Organize your space – Cleaning and throwing away old baggage is a great way to de-clutter and feel on track.  For example, organizing your closet, and getting rid of old clothes and shoes that you no longer where or fit can help make room for new items that you need.  Making room for new items makes you feel like refreshed and positive. Many times when you get rid of junk and items that are taking space, you can make a list of the items you need and re-vamp.  Shopping therapy is always refreshing so set a date to de-clutter.
  4. Seek Professional Advice – Talk to someone that doesn’t know you or lacks judgement about your situation.  It can be embarrassing to open up to those that may not understand what you are going through.  If you meet with a therapist or psychologist, they can give you insight on what your feeling and help you sort a few things out. These people don’t have the answers but they can be an ear to listen when you need to vent or figure out your next steps. Here is a free sight that will assist with finding a therapist in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
  5. Read something that makes you happy – Reading was always something I enjoyed doing as a kid.  Its nothing like a good book to let your imagination run free.  Create your own world and characters.  It lets you get away from your reality for a while. Think about what type of books your would enjoy, such as self help, non fiction, fiction, research, comics etc.  Go tot he local bookstore or library.  Download the Kindle app on your phone or tablet and read. I can admit I have got away from readying myself but will make it a point to add more literature to my day to day moving forward.
  6. Plan something to look forward to – Always keep a future plan on your agenda.  Write down a end point and look forward to completing this whether it be a celebration, vacation, spa day, dinner with the girls or fellas, fun night out, whatever it is have an end point to something fun that helps you get by each day and week. 

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These are just a few ways that can help put you in the right direction. Thank you for Reading! Feel free to comment on what works for you as well!

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The Importance of Mental Health

This has been a topic in the media lately.  Let me know if you agree. There has been quite a few celebrity’s in the past few years committing suicide.  When you think of a celebrity lifestyle with fame, fortune and money, an average person such as myself would feel like whats there to be sad and depressed about?  I guess the saying is true, More Money More Problems. You never really know until your in the situation what comes along with it.

Mental Health – a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.

In my opinion, mental health begins as a child.  Your experiences, and environment shapes you as you grow into your own.  When we become adults we either run from our past or repeat it because this is all we know.   Many children are exposed to things that have hurt their mental health and never received any treatment for it, so this behavior they are accustom to becomes normalized. What tends to happen is we gravitate to those who have had similar experiences because they are relate-able, and repeat a cycle which could be abusive relationships, drugs, promiscuity, crime etc. Kids look up to those closest to them which could be a parent, sibling, family member, friend.  Sometimes and in many cases these folks aren’t the best example, so what tends to happen is this child, now an adult grows up to believe that those experiences are normal, and this shows love.  In other cases there are children who vear the other way and do everything in their power not to repeat a generational cycle and go another route.  Many of these children have some form of mentor, or person in their life they pay attention to that may have overcome adversity, or find something to break the cycle for them such as getting a good education, using a talent, moving away and living with family members more stable etc.  

Mental Health affects you as an adult in many ways because what you feel and think can determine your decision making in life.  These thoughts and feelings are the driver of positive and negative energy. Your mental health can cause you to act out, or make rash decisions you cannot change later.  Many of these decisions not only hurt you, but others you care about. If mental health is not taken seriously, there is a large increase in crimes, murders, and abuse. Erratic behavior and episodes are prime examples that their could be something mentally not stable with a person. The answer is not always medication because the downside of medicating a mental illness is you become dependent on it to live life. The drugs make you feel as if you have thing sunder control, but your a dose away from hurting yourself and others. Many murders in jail have experiences as a child that has shaped them into believe their crime was justified or they were exposed to this behavior. 

I honestly believe once someone mentally has checked out, its hard to get back to that place of sanity. Reason is your constantly finding ways to cope,  This can be drugs, medication, and other actions that can hurt yourself and others. Mental health plays a huge role on your physical health as well. The drugs you put into your body can have affects on your health and organs. Think of all the celebrities who were affected by mental illness for whatever reason, most died of drug overdose. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Prince, Teena Marie, Mac Miller and the list goes on.  Lets pray for Kanye West because he is clearly not mentally all there at this time. Suicide is real too, Kate Spade, Robin Williams just to name a few. Whats your thought on this topic?!

Thank you for reading! 

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May Favorites!

Hey! Its been a while since I did a favorites post, we are almost through the month of May 2018, and I want to share some of the things that I really enjoyed the past few weeks! Lets go!

Nivea Hydrating Lotion – this lotion is smooth, and melts right into your skin. It definitely keeps you hydrated.  It has a soft fragrance that is not overbearing.  It can be purchased pretty much anywhere and runs you between 8-10.00 depending on where you go.  Its worth a try if you want something new for the summer.

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Fenty Beauty Glow Bomb Lip Gloss – This gloss is the bomb!  Its a neutral color that goes with any outfit, great for the summer.  Leaves your lips plump and pretty.  It runs about 18.00 at Sephora but great to keep in your pocketbook to keep your lips moisturized with a glow!

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Too Faced Chocolate Gold Palette – This is still my favorite palette, it has some gorgeous shades, and the colors blend well.  This is a all seasons palette.  Its pretty pricey but one of their best.  It will run you about 50.00 for this palette. There is slight fall out because the colors are so pigmented so a little gets you a long way.

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No.7 Beautiful Skin Daily Moisturizer- I have just changed my skin care routine and have been using this daily moisturizer with 25 SPF.  It is the bomb.  It does not break me out and leaves my skin hydrated and clear. I pair this with the No.7 Beautiful skim Foam cleanser and age defying serum.  This runs you about 15.00 so its very affordable and can be purchased at Walgreens.

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Carolina Herrera – Good Girl Perfume – this is one of my favorite perfumes, its smells soooo good.  Not to mention the packaging is dope, I love it.  Next time your shopping for a new fragrance, this is worth a try.

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