Why I Decided to Give Up Social Media

It was time. I had a Facebook Page since 2010, and before that a MySPACE page since 2005.  When does it get enough of sharing your most intimate moments for people you don’t speak to or haven’t seen in years? When it was just me, as a single woman, no children and really no major responsibilities, it was fun, exciting and a great way to meet new people. But as I entered my 30’s, got married, and planned for my first child, I realized I only want to share these intimate moments with my family and friends that I actually truly know cares about me. I feel like if I am friends with someone on Facebook, but we don’t have each-others phone number or mutual friends, are we truly FRIENDS? The people I consider my friends I can text, pick up the phone and call them, send an email.  We communicate more frequently than not often and I am able to invite them to these intimate moments because they are truly my friends. 

Many people on Social media want to be nosy, or compare their lives to others. Half of most peoples friends are people they went to High=school with but haven’t seen in years and probably didn’t even LIKE in HS. One thing about the internet, once its on there, it gives access to any and everyone to know your business. I use to think, it was alright to post your children but you don’t know what lunatic is lurking or can get access to your kids, location, home etc. I am not trying to be Hippocratic because I once was on social media but find it refreshing to know I have some bit of privacy. I use to faithfully scroll through Instagram and FB when I had the apps, almost like second nature. Now its almost been a year since I disconnected, and don’t miss it at all. If I want to learn the latest gossip, I will try YOUTUBE. Honestly I would rather just BLOG. 

Thanks for Reading!

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How to Stay Positive While Waiting For Mr. Right

It seemed like yesterday that I was a single woman, exhausted with dating, and had reached a point where I was over it! It seemed like the older to became, and the more you obtained on your own, the options got smaller for potential candidates that would work long term. Now that I am married, and much in love with my husband, I can confirm it was very much so worth the wait for the right partner. I can definitely say dating the in 20th century is challenging.  You have so many outlets such as online dating, speed dating, Mobile apps such as Tinder, Social media etc. where you can meet a potential match. What makes this challenging is that sometimes too many options can become overwhelming and cloud your judgement on who would make an ideal candidate for you.

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Typically you think that if a guy was interested, he would pursue and court you to show he is serious about a relationship.  In this day and age, he can pursue you just to have a sexual encounter.  I believe that’s why its so important to make it clear on what you are looking for from the start so that no one feels led on or taken advantage of.  I know it is not that cut and dry. Most men don’t look for a woman he can jump into a relationship right away if he has options so, typically those types of guys have to be single and get it OUT their system before commitment or you will be a very unhappy woman trying to tame that type of beast.  If a man is ready he will be patient, and spend alot of time getting to know you, and learn if there is a potential future with you, with or without sex. So for my single gals I wanted to put together a list of ways to stay positive while waiting for Mr. Right, and signs to look for to avoid Mr. Right Now.

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Things to do to Stay Positive While waiting for Mr. Right:

1) Stack your Money – A woman with the bag can make moves as she deem fit. You wont have to wait for anyone to take you out, and you can spend that free single time traveling and seeing the world with friends.  There is nothing more attractive than a financially stable woman who can make her own and add to.  Save and cut back on areas that you can so when the right person comes along, you have funds set aside for a potential wedding, starting a family etc and to treat yourself.

2) Build a close relationship with GOD- Learn more about your spiritual side, connect and have a bond with him to show you the way while in wait.  Talk to GOD about what you want the out some of the next few years to be, and listen closely to the steps he advises to take.  This will keep you sharp and positive while in wait, and away from wolves in sheep clothing.

3) Keep a Goal list – Keep a list of goals written down.  This will allow you to check off each life goal you have been wanting to accomplish while in wait.  Once you get married and start a family, many of the goals will be put on hold because now it wont be just about you.  Focus on achieving these goals so that your focus is not on rushing to get married, or Mr. Right.  This will also help you look back on life with minimal regrets on what you should have done.

Signs to Look for to avoid Mr. Right NOW:

1) If a man tells you he is not looking for nothing serious believe him. Do not make it more than what it is, and definitely do not put yourself in a situation to get pregnant by him because promise you that it wont work, and he will NOT marry you.  You will end up single and a mother which makes thing snow 10x harder to date, and Find Mr. Right because you are stressing about making things work with Mr. Right Now’s child.

2) If your going to sleep with a guy early, make sure you have a conversation with yourself that you will NOT make it more than what it is because the worst thing you can do is have a sexual encounter with Mr. Right Now, and you are not in a commitment.  If there are no talks of a relationship than you will NOT be the only one he sleeps with.  It does not matter how good you put it on him. Trust me if you are trying to put it on him, someone else is too.  Run….far away. Do not get your heart tied up in this mess.  If you want a conversation time to time thats cool too, but keep other options and do not make sex a consistent thing with this guy, it will back fire when the sex gets old. I seen this happen to too many women.

3) Avoid lay up and chill situations. If he can’t take time to have a conversation, spend time out with you, he isnt on anything serious.  Never assume, always let him tell you and show you he is interested.  Don’t sleep around of course, but date different people to see what you like.  Have options, men keep options right?  Always remember we are in control (women) if sex happens so if it does, you can only blame yourself (unless he forces himself on you of course.)

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Well I hope this helps my single ladies who are still in the field, trust me I been there but Mr. Right is out there and waiting for a beautiful woman like you just avoid those pitfalls I listed. 😉 Thank you for reading.

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The Social Media Experience

Good morning!!!! Happy Monday.  I felt compelled to write about something that has become so main stream and so normal that people are shocked when you do not utilize it. SOCIAL MEDIA.  I will admit, I use to be on there for years, I remember having a Black planet Page, that was the first, then MYSPACE, next Facebook and Now Instagram.  I saw the social media phenomenon over the years take off!  It was exciting cause you can meet people across the country and as it progressed, showcase your life, and stay in touch with friends/family from a distance.  But I must ask, has social media really bought us closer????

You can analyze this in two ways, does it cause you to verbally speak more, or do you find yourself scrolling and taking in every picture and post with envy if it “LOOKS” like they have the perfect life? Does this cause you to want to call them to support, or be nosy and find out whats going on?  The thing about social media is that it can turn into a competition on who can showcase all of their business the most, and whose lives look the best based on pictures, and status updates and shared internet quotes. Don’t get me wrong, its amazing to see everyone doing GREAT, but what I have learned is that people only post what they want you to know!  A picture is only a moment in time.  That picture can be the false smile of a girl that is considering suicide, that happy couples picture can be a mending of a abusive relationship that everyone thinks is the perfect couple. The status update can be from a man or woman who constantly compares their life to what others are doing but has lost reality of themselves.

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My point is, remember social media is a fake word.  Its a place where you can show the world either your REAL life or How you WISH your life really was.   You ever wonder why some people delete their accounts?  They probably caught a case of FACEBOOK or Instagram Envy and wanted to divorce themselves from that feeling. It may sound crazy but its real I am pretty sure everyone has experience it once whether it was personal, financial or recreational.  Someone posted something that made you feel a way at some point in time.

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I always recommend to take time out to disconnect.  Everyone does not have to know your next move in life.  Some moments are sacred. Special. For you and your family. Don’t let your life get dictated by what the majority is doing, do it because it serves value to yourself and always consider what you post because Trust me once its on the internet it stays forever. Thanks for Reading guys!

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