This is a topic that I really want to get an opinion about because I feel like in this culture its so easy to blame someone for our mistakes, and the way our life is turning or has turned out. I say this because when I look around, majority of the women I know are not married with children, or have given up on marriage because they feel like it may not happen. NO marriage is not the end all be all, or many women are happy not getting married and living their own life. There is a difference between being alone and lonely. My point is, many women are bitter and blame men for being single mothers, or the reason why they have not found love. We need to ask ourselves, are we pointing the blame on why these things haven’t happened or is it up to us to make our own happiness?
Many women I know like a certain type of guy, and expect they can change the outcome of a situation. When you have known a man for 1 month and carry out a sexual relationship with no talks about commitment or relationship, and then feel its smart to bring a child into the world with a man you barley know….who do you blame, the man or yourself. Now you are a mother that has to pick up the pieces as a single women and try to get your life back on track if your not married. This is not a baby mama post – I wrote about that in a prior post, but this is a WHEN DO WE TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY post. If your knocked up at 32 years old, you cant blame the man, you are old enough and have enough experiences to know the outcome of a making that decision. Ladies lets take accountability for our actions if things don’t turn out in our life the way we planned or hoped for. Lets not make a desperate decision when it comes to dating thinking we can “Make a situation we want to serve our purpose. We are lying to ourselves when we do this and when you look in the mirror you know the truth, blame wont change the outcome.
With that being said, lets make decisions that are healthy for us, like date a guy that has a conversation about commitment with you, get to know a guy before having unprotected sex with him, or see if he is even open to a commitment, this will save you time, and heartache in the long run. Date men who want to get married, or see themselves taking a leap with you. You deserve the best and make sure you settle for nothing less. If the situation is not healthy or fulfilling, make a decision to not put up with it. Marriage is something many men are willing to give you, but they have to want to give it to YOU. Attaching to him is not the answer. Look out for yourself in the beginning of a romantic relationship so your not putting yourself in a “Single Mothers Box.” Have fun but don’t make it more than what it IS! Take accountability for your messed up situation. I know too many women that have given up because of the hole they put themselves in FAKE happy but really wish they would have did things different in life.