This one is for the fellas! It’s rough having a child with a woman that you aren’t with in some cases. Reason being, they are expectations and obligations you have with a person that you are no longer or never were with. How? Through the connection of a child. If your a stand up guy, you will provide, teach, spend time and love the child. This naturally make a challenge because when something no longer works, we move on but with a child involved there is still some form of communication that needs to be had.
Men, although I hate the phrase baby mama, it’s the easiest way to describe a woman that is upset or dislikes the father of her child for whatever reason, which causes tension and difficulty’s for the father to have a normal positive relationship with the child. Why? Because she is bitter (aka- emotion about the situation involving you and her and what happened). Bitter means not letting go of the past or hanging on to the negative emotion for their own reasons. In a lot of cases this is warranted but at some point, the mother should come around to do what’s in the best interest of the child because it’s no longer about the woman.
Here are a few ways to help make a negative situation into a positive:
Don’t argue – this is the worst way to get on the same page. Woman are naturally emotional so anything you say will be attacked especially if she’s hurt by something you did or said, regardless if it’s from the past. Arguing will more than likely cause her to keep you way from the child if you deem her to be bitter.
Build a relationship with the child regardless- make sure to still communicate. This will come back on you in the long run if you turn your back on the children. Cover your bases so they know although it’s been a challenge, I still fought for you. One thing to help make this easier, remember kids grow up and will eventually make their own opinion of the situation. It won’t last forever, hang in there.
Be honest with the child about what’s going on in your life when they can understand. Don’t isolate them, even if the mother tries to make things hard for you. At least you know your doing the right thing. Remember birthdays and holidays, although you may not be in the home, they will remember these moments.
Hopefully adults can move past the emotions and make life normal for the children because it sucks to be in the middle. At the end of the day, it’s about then we’ll bring of the future generation. Thanks for Reading!