Ladies….Are You Dating A User?

Ladies, beware of men that want to date you to benefit off you financially. If a man is asking you to make a financial commitment with him without a relationship long term commitment, he may be just using you for financial support or opportunity. Reason I say beware is because I have a friend who is smitten  by a guy she met out of state.  They have hung out probably a hand full of times due to the distance, but she still has strong feelings for him.  How I know is that she is always asking me advice, and my opinion on some of the things he does.  Typically when we ask questions about our significant other or someone we are dating, we are unsure about a situation or feel uneasy and may be looking for reassurance.  She has mentioned that they have conversations about marriage, and he says he wants to get married one day and that although havent spent much quality time together, he feels she is the one. Now, I know my friend wants to get married soon.  We have had conversations about this.  She already has children and wants to have another baby before 35.  She is currently 33 and will be turning 34 soon.  She also wants to be married to the childs father this time around.  So, I know she has picked his brain regarding marriage and if he is serious about her.  

What draws red flags about this guy to me are the following:

  1. He has never been up to see her in her own state, but she has been there to see him a hand full of times.
  2. He has a cell phone in his baby mama name which show ties to another woman still, which can potentially could mean he is still dealing with his sons mother.
  3. He seems to be giving empty promises of marriage and that she could be the one but how do you know when there hasn’t been enough QUALITY time together?  Its hard enough dating someone locally but out of state really needs to spend time together before commitment, and not just talk time on the phone.  Especially when kids are involved. 
  4. He is comfortable talking about OTHER women to her when he attends events or goes out, most men wont just speak about other women being interested in them if they are all about you UNLESS you specifically ask.  Most men don’t want to give you the impression they are still on the market or giving others attention when they are serious about you.

What makes me think he may be trying to use her for financial gain is that they opened a credit card together which I can tell she was reluctant to tell me, but she admitted this and was upset because he maxed out the card and has only been making the minimum payments.  Honestly, he may even skipped a few payment and paid late.  Next he is asking her to file his taxes and consolidate his student loans for him because he is in default and needs some help getting them back on track.  Next she needs a new car, and due to his lack of payments on the credit card they have together, this has affected her credit, now she may need a co signer or to get the car in someone else name.  WTF?! I will be  damned if I am doing all this for a wish and a dream that this person will marry me and continue sending empty promises.

I write this to say, ladies sometimes we get ahead of ourselves for LOVE and in the end, it FUCKS us in the ass literally, no pleasure lol.  This guy clearly sounds like he may have an interest in my friend but using her for financial help. If you think I am over thinking this, did I mention she sent him money a few times and has yet to pay her back???Now you see…..

If you encounter someone who seems like a leach RUN THE OTHER WAY~~~~

Thank you for reading! Do you have a friend or family member in a situation like this???

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