Colorism

This is a topic I wanted to discuss because I have seen quite a few articles mentioning the continued up rise in Colorism and specifically in the entertainment world. Id first like to address what Colorism is, I describe it as color preference within a group of people that have the same nationality. I am going to focus this conversation on African American people, although it is found in other minority races, its a trending topic in the Black community.  

My first encounter with colorism actually started as a girl in middle school.  It was something so simple that I didnt realize would become a issue within the black community. I remember being in 7th or 8th grade, and this is the era in my life where I started to like boys and they started to like me back or at least weren’t shy about showing it lol. I am a fair skinned girl so I would fall into the light skin category.  I remember young boys would have the conversation about which type preferred to date light skin or dark skin girls.  It was funny that this was even a topic of conversation but I remember them saying, I prefer light skin girls but I’d date a dark skin girl if she was FINE.  As a child I didnt pay much attention to these young boys comments but they ended up following to Highschool and college.  Now there were guys who indeed liked dark skin girls but it would always have to be explained which made no sense to me for example, they would say something like ” I don’t like light skin girls because they stuck up or think their all that, dark skin girls are cool and down to earth or I like dark skin girls because my mom is dark skin.”  It seemed like it was always a REASON instead of liking all women regardless of color. 

I really started to pay attention to Colorism as an adult when it became pretty evident that in today’s society especially in the music industry some of the most heavily promoted entertainers are fair skin, for example: Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Rhianna, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Ella Mai, and these are just to name a few main stream artists.  Don’t get me wrong we have many talented beautiful dark entertainers but how many do we actually see as major headliners? I see some mainstream actresses that are brown skin getting exposure but alot of times its only in the black community such as Gabrielle Union and Issa Rae.  But how many more are great that don’t really get the mainstream exposure? Another example is Khloe Kardashian, she recently had a baby girl, and the father is Black. Her child came out brown skinned instead of the typical fair skin mixed look that many bi-racial babies have.  Her child received criticism from social media on pictures she posted that were comments about her baby being darker than her cousins who were also bi-racial. She had a taste of what it really feels like to raise a black child and some of the negativity we face in our culture. 

I watched this documentary on YOUTUBE called – Cake Soap – Skin Bleaching and it covered people in Jamaica bleaching their skin so they can look white or light complexion. Whats sad is that in this film they really believed that the lighter the skin the more acceptable they are even being Jamaican decent where they have naturally dark skin of all shades.  It was sad to see because they reason it became popular was due to a Dance Hall Rapper named Vybz Kartel who bleached his skin and said it was cool, and if you want to be cool too you will use the cake soap.  Its crazy how lyrics in a song or a preference can cause humans to put themselves in danger of their health to be accepted or considered pretty or handsome.  It was very disappointing to see and here is a link if you wish to check it out: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmY0_l6BNPc

I feel like we are all beautiful in our own way, and what makes you beautiful is your confidence.  You can please everyone and you should not try.  Black is beautiful because of the melting pot of shades and we are so blessed to have so many in our nationality it should be celebrated. Its okay to have a preference, but to say one is BETTER than the other is what I do not agree with.  Preference is personal choice but when one is put on a pedestal over the other that’s when it becomes a issue.  What do you think?

Thank you for Reading!

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The Importance of Mental Health

This has been a topic in the media lately.  Let me know if you agree. There has been quite a few celebrity’s in the past few years committing suicide.  When you think of a celebrity lifestyle with fame, fortune and money, an average person such as myself would feel like whats there to be sad and depressed about?  I guess the saying is true, More Money More Problems. You never really know until your in the situation what comes along with it.

Mental Health – a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.

In my opinion, mental health begins as a child.  Your experiences, and environment shapes you as you grow into your own.  When we become adults we either run from our past or repeat it because this is all we know.   Many children are exposed to things that have hurt their mental health and never received any treatment for it, so this behavior they are accustom to becomes normalized. What tends to happen is we gravitate to those who have had similar experiences because they are relate-able, and repeat a cycle which could be abusive relationships, drugs, promiscuity, crime etc. Kids look up to those closest to them which could be a parent, sibling, family member, friend.  Sometimes and in many cases these folks aren’t the best example, so what tends to happen is this child, now an adult grows up to believe that those experiences are normal, and this shows love.  In other cases there are children who vear the other way and do everything in their power not to repeat a generational cycle and go another route.  Many of these children have some form of mentor, or person in their life they pay attention to that may have overcome adversity, or find something to break the cycle for them such as getting a good education, using a talent, moving away and living with family members more stable etc.  

Mental Health affects you as an adult in many ways because what you feel and think can determine your decision making in life.  These thoughts and feelings are the driver of positive and negative energy. Your mental health can cause you to act out, or make rash decisions you cannot change later.  Many of these decisions not only hurt you, but others you care about. If mental health is not taken seriously, there is a large increase in crimes, murders, and abuse. Erratic behavior and episodes are prime examples that their could be something mentally not stable with a person. The answer is not always medication because the downside of medicating a mental illness is you become dependent on it to live life. The drugs make you feel as if you have thing sunder control, but your a dose away from hurting yourself and others. Many murders in jail have experiences as a child that has shaped them into believe their crime was justified or they were exposed to this behavior. 

I honestly believe once someone mentally has checked out, its hard to get back to that place of sanity. Reason is your constantly finding ways to cope,  This can be drugs, medication, and other actions that can hurt yourself and others. Mental health plays a huge role on your physical health as well. The drugs you put into your body can have affects on your health and organs. Think of all the celebrities who were affected by mental illness for whatever reason, most died of drug overdose. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Prince, Teena Marie, Mac Miller and the list goes on.  Lets pray for Kanye West because he is clearly not mentally all there at this time. Suicide is real too, Kate Spade, Robin Williams just to name a few. Whats your thought on this topic?!

Thank you for reading! 

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Having a Peace of Mind….

What does this mean?  Does it mean not to have a worry in the world, or to let your mind wander to a place with no despair?  I really cant put a definition to it but I will say there is NOTHING like having a peace of mind.  When I look up the googled definition here is what I found:

If something gives you peace of mind , it stops you from worrying about a particular thing or event.

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There are times in life where I have had a piece of mind, and in most cases it was when I felt like I was in control of something.  Now looking back, a sense of control was a hidden sense of fear from things falling apart.  I don’t think we ever REALLY have control over anything in life. Sometimes things are up to chance or just natural causes. The only person that can really control THIS THING CALLED LIFE IS GOD. A spiritual healer and guide to help us navigate our purpose here on earth by listening.  Sometimes the loudest response is what has not been said. What made me really write a post about Having A Peace of mind is that we spend so much time worrying about things that we have absolutely no control over that we miss some  of the most amazing milestones in our life. Each year we get older and the years get numbered.  What have we accomplished so far?  Or did we spend the them full of worry and concern that we let all this valuable time pass us by. My mother said something to my sister and I the other day that hit home, and one day soon I will under stand.  She said ” I am not sixty five year old, there will be a day where there will be more days in your past than you have in your future.” This hit home because at her age she see’s a shortened road than I do in my thirties or my niece in her teens. When your young you feel like you have the world ahead of you, and plenty of time to accomplish life’s wonders. But in reality we have to use each day and year like its the best time. There are RIGHT times in life and those are the ones GOD allows to happen. One phrase I like is “its not what happens to you, but how you respond to what has happened.” 

Thank you for Reading!

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