Is Your Child always on their IPAD?

I noticed something the past few years and its quite interesting how the world has evolved so much. I remember as a kid coming home from school, and trying to finish my homework quickly so I could play outside with my friends. I remember having this next door neighbor Xiomara.  We were the same age and would ride bikes, and walk to the candy store together. It was safe and you didn’t hear about as much crime going on  in the suburbs back then. We use to play hopscotch, jump rope, sledding in the winters in my backyard, red light green light and a host of other outside children’s imaginary games. Children born in this generation dont really do these types of activities…..or at least that what it seems.  Most of the children I know cant wait to use their IPAD or Tablet to play games, or watch YOUTUBE. In the schools these days, 5 year old have cell phones where they can play games and call their parents while at school.  In the summer times as a kid we use to play at the park, and couldn’t wait to get outside.  Now it seems like kids are little geniuses that know how to use a laptop and IPHONE better than me lol.

Its not a bad thing because it exposes them to different ways of learning, and to enhance their intelligence with the way the world is going much sooner.  My fear is that as technology grows, children wont know the joy of a traditional non-millennial childhood.  Are children exposed to ways of the world much too soon? Are taking the innocence away by allowing them to depend on these devices to learn and occupy their time? Each parent raises their children different, and it is a  lot of pressure to keep up with the norm, especially raising kids. I think as long as its used in moderation it can be alright for children.  Their time should definitely be broken up to reading books, playing outside, and doing social recreational activities offline.

Its just as important for kids to disconnect as adults.  Thank you for reading!

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Blue Collar Vs White Collar Careers – Is one better than the other?

I never really though much about working in a blue collar field.  Reason being is that my parents pushed going to college on me since I was a little girl.  They were advocates of getting a degree, and college education so that way I was able to land a “good” job and make a “good” living.  So that is what I did, I went to undergrad and received my Bachelors in Communications, then pursued my MBA in Human Resource Management. I can honestly say it paid off because I do make a good living for myself and have learned transferable skills that I can take within me as I enhance my career. The flip side is the cost it requires to attend college is high, and it continues to go up every year. Most students who want to finish their degree as soon as possible has some form of loan debt.  In a perfect would it would be great to have rich parents that can pay for it, but the average working class person does not have that luxury. If you ask someone who works in corporate America I am sure they are carrying some form of debt or paid off some form of debt to obtain the position and income that they have.

Blue Collar jobs are available to those who don’t want to attend college, or minimal schooling.  College is not for everyone and you can still make a decent income working for the railroad, construction, electrical, entrepreneurship, and any job that does not require a formal education. You can make a salary almost competitive to the White Collar employer. The flip side is that these jobs are hourly based so if you need time off, your income can fluctuate week to week which can affect your way of living with expenses and family. Also, if you get hurt in these types of jobs, you don’t get your full income because you are being paid by benefits which is just enough to get by.  Very minimal job security if you are no in a Union, and a lot of time, the stress is really high working in this field.  So although you may not carry much debt if any at all, is it worth it?

The best way to look at it is are you fulfilled, does this career make you whole, and do you feel like you are using your skill set….at the end of the day if its White collar or Blue Collar…are you serving a purpose to your community. Thanks for Reading!

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Are we Living to Work?

This is an interesting topic and honestly, it depends on how you look at life, specifically your life and circumstances.  

The first question is Are we living to work? 

Without humans working daily to make the everyday function of life habitual we will be living like the Indians right?  There would be no buildings, fast food restaurants, houses,  daycare’s, schools, laundry facilities, car dealerships, grocery stores and I can keep going, the list goes on.  Who made these facilities?  Humans did.  So if we did not use our brains (which is one of the most powerful muscles) we would not live the standard of life that humans are living today.  Lets not get started with the advancements of technology.  Kids today will never know what its like to live with out IPADs, laptops or Tablets. So are we living to work?  Are we here to help keep technology going, making the earth a habital place?If we didnt use our minds to help make this world a liveable place would it still function? Before the advancements, life was able to be lived through eating food from the wild, building homes out of straw etc? We wouldn’t last a week living like that now.  Are we here to continually advance the quality of human life then die for the next generation to take over?

The flip side, are we Working to live?

In order to live a life as a soul on this place called earth we must work to survive right?  If we dont work and have income (money) to pay bills and provide food for our families, we wont last here in this lifetime long.  Many people have risked their lives for this green machine we cal MONEY. People result to prostitution, drug dealing, theft, robbery, killing, etc. just to get their hands on money to live. If you are blessed enough to get rich or have wealth life wont be so hard obtaining and living a lifestyle on earth that is deemed successful. But are they really happy?  What if you have wealth today and gone tomorrow? Couldn’t this take a toll and make you not want to live life having to function like a normal person with a 9-5 pm.  Average people if they are lucky, have a job and make enough income to feed and house their families, we have 65 soon to be 70 years to work if your lucky, and not get ill to where you have to depend on the government.If we all decided we were no longer going to go to work, and did what we wanted, without any regards to money, would we be able to survive on earth? Would we drive ourselves crazy without rules……  So which do you think it is?

Are we Living to Work or Working to Live? Maybe Both? Thank you for reading!

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The Social Media Experience

Good morning!!!! Happy Monday.  I felt compelled to write about something that has become so main stream and so normal that people are shocked when you do not utilize it. SOCIAL MEDIA.  I will admit, I use to be on there for years, I remember having a Black planet Page, that was the first, then MYSPACE, next Facebook and Now Instagram.  I saw the social media phenomenon over the years take off!  It was exciting cause you can meet people across the country and as it progressed, showcase your life, and stay in touch with friends/family from a distance.  But I must ask, has social media really bought us closer????

You can analyze this in two ways, does it cause you to verbally speak more, or do you find yourself scrolling and taking in every picture and post with envy if it “LOOKS” like they have the perfect life? Does this cause you to want to call them to support, or be nosy and find out whats going on?  The thing about social media is that it can turn into a competition on who can showcase all of their business the most, and whose lives look the best based on pictures, and status updates and shared internet quotes. Don’t get me wrong, its amazing to see everyone doing GREAT, but what I have learned is that people only post what they want you to know!  A picture is only a moment in time.  That picture can be the false smile of a girl that is considering suicide, that happy couples picture can be a mending of a abusive relationship that everyone thinks is the perfect couple. The status update can be from a man or woman who constantly compares their life to what others are doing but has lost reality of themselves.

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My point is, remember social media is a fake word.  Its a place where you can show the world either your REAL life or How you WISH your life really was.   You ever wonder why some people delete their accounts?  They probably caught a case of FACEBOOK or Instagram Envy and wanted to divorce themselves from that feeling. It may sound crazy but its real I am pretty sure everyone has experience it once whether it was personal, financial or recreational.  Someone posted something that made you feel a way at some point in time.

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I always recommend to take time out to disconnect.  Everyone does not have to know your next move in life.  Some moments are sacred. Special. For you and your family. Don’t let your life get dictated by what the majority is doing, do it because it serves value to yourself and always consider what you post because Trust me once its on the internet it stays forever. Thanks for Reading guys!

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Women- Do we take Accountability?

This is a topic that I really want to get an opinion about because I feel like in this culture its so easy to blame someone for our mistakes, and the way our life is turning or has turned out.  I say this because when I look around, majority of the women I know are not married with children, or have given up on marriage because they feel like it may not happen.  NO marriage is not the end all be all, or many women are happy not getting married and living their own life.  There is a difference between being alone and lonely. My point is, many women are bitter and blame men for being single mothers, or the reason why they have not found love.  We need to ask ourselves, are we pointing the blame on why these things haven’t happened or is it up to us to make our own happiness?

Many women I know like a certain type of guy, and expect they can change the outcome of a situation.  When you have known a man for 1 month and carry out a sexual relationship with no talks about commitment or relationship, and then feel its smart to bring a child into the world with a man you barley know….who do you blame, the man or yourself. Now you are a mother that has to pick up the pieces as a single women and try to get your life back on track if your not married.  This is not a baby mama post – I wrote about that in a prior post, but this is a WHEN DO WE TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY post.  If your knocked up at 32 years old, you cant blame the man, you are old enough and have enough experiences to know the outcome of a making that decision. Ladies lets take accountability for our actions if things don’t turn out in our life the way we planned or hoped for.  Lets not make a desperate decision when it comes to dating thinking we can “Make a situation we want to serve our purpose.  We are lying to ourselves when we do this and when you look in the mirror you know the truth, blame wont change the outcome.

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With that being said, lets make decisions that are healthy for us, like date a guy that has a conversation about commitment with you, get to know a guy before having unprotected sex with him, or see if he is even open to a commitment, this will save you time, and heartache in the long run. Date men who want to get married, or see themselves taking a leap with you.  You deserve the best and make sure you settle for nothing less. If the situation is not healthy or fulfilling, make a decision to not put up with it. Marriage is something many men are willing to give you, but they have to want to give it to YOU. Attaching to him is not the answer. Look out for yourself in the beginning of a romantic relationship so your not putting yourself in a “Single Mothers Box.”  Have fun but don’t make it more than what it IS! Take accountability for your messed up situation. I know too many women that have given up because of the hole they put themselves in FAKE happy but really wish they would have did things different in life.

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Student Loan Debt Sucks!

I really think this is a topic that many of us wish could get more light shined on.  Its almost one of the worst financial crisis we have had since the mortgage issues and foreclosure disasters back in 2008.  We are told to graduate high school and go to college.  We spend 4 years preparing to invest in higher education so we can secure our future with a good paying job. Each year tuition goes up and student loan interest rates increase.  So the question I have is Student Loan Debt even freaking worth it? 

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Many of us are not getting paid what we expected after college.  We have to balance student loan payments with other financial goals such as purchasing a house, starting a family, buying a car, going to Graduate school, traveling etc. I know many people who have student loans over 100,000 just to afford college and cannot afford the payments so they put the loans in forbearance or deferment just to make ends meet.  This sucks because all the loans are doing is drawing more interest making the amount owed way larger. 

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So this makes me ask again, is it even worth it to go to college? You think okay if I get a blue collar job, I am only paid hourly. That’s not secure.  But on the other hand you wont have a bunch of loan debt following you that is never getting paid down.  With the increase in tuition, millennial leave college in mounds of debt with vary sheisty options. On the other hand, you go to college, and have the American dream of obtaining a degree, making a decent income, but also carry the mountain of debt with you if your way of paying for the degree was Financial aid or a Private Student Loan.  I figured it out, the government wants US to stay in Debt, this way they always having money coming in….that’s the only answer I can come up with. 

Yeah you can say well don’t borrow so much and make payment while in school etc.  What if you aren’t working while in school, what if Financial aid is your only means to paying for your education.  What if your parents made too much money and you had to get a private loan which is credit based like myself?  It sucks and even if you do get forgiveness, you must have a non for profit type position, that don’t pay all that great, such as teacher and social work etc.  I really hope they find a better way for education seekers to manage debt and better repayment options, or just forgiveness for everyone after they paid for so long. What is your thought on this topic, and do you have student loan debt that you wish would go away?

 

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The “Baby Mama Syndrome”

Hey ladies, I decided to discuss briefly a topic that has become concerning over the past few years.  Lets discuss the “Baby Mama” syndrome.  I am not mother yet, and have been married for two years now.  I always wanted children but knew that if I got pregnant before marriage, there was a high percentage that I would not be with the father, or may never get married.  I didn’t want that, and I wanted my children to be in the same home as the father.  Thus, I am glad I didn’t get knocked up and have to make a decision between my child or marriage.  I am not saying you cant have both if your put into the situation but it does create more odds against you, and challenges as the mother. 

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It seems like especially in the black community its “acceptable” to be a Black single mother.  Its almost like a badge of honor that I “have his baby.”  Its almost like I attend more baby showers than I do weddings in my generation.  I am in my early 30s.  My husband and I have this conversation and he feels Black women “want their purpose and to be in control.”  This is why they have the babies with a man they are not married or committed t to in any way.  He says this way of thinking is generational and has been passed down to be acceptable.  There are no women speaking to our generation letting them know, do not bring a child into this world if the man does not love and respect you or value you as his helpmate.  Instead, they say :”its his fault, have that baby, you will be alright, he better do the right thing etc..” I am a bit biased because as a woman, I understand how we feel, we get a certain age, and that time clock starts going off especially when you hit 30 years old.  Not married and single.  You panic and feel like if I dont go through with this, it may never happen for me.  Also other situations are when your younger, you THINK your in love, and feel like you don’t want to be without this guy, so the baby will be the glue to keep yall together,  This hardly ever works.  The only way it works is if he is IN too you before the baby, and LOVES you regardless, cause men can and do leave.  If we know this, we have to make sure we look out for ourselves, and make decisions that are in OUR best interest.  Some women are accepting of the single mother role, because they want the child, and don’t believe in the PLAN B pill or abortions, but ladies lets be honest, at a certain age you already made up in your mind that HE CAN GET IT, and if you let him raw dog, you came to the conclusion that “you wont be too mad if you get pregnant” lets be real, what hurts is if he doesent “stay or commit to you” if you have the child.  That’s when how he REALLY feels about you shows, and the fact you were a booty call, is even worst.

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I must be honest, majority of my girlfriends from ages 29-40 are single mother, and never been married.  I am like the only friend out of all my girls that’s married right now.  The only ones that are, I met through my husbands friends (their wives). Its sad.  Bbaies will never be the glue….ever, and even marriage ain’t a guarantee but at least yall made it down the aisle to “attempt” to do the things the right way as long as yall could. I am not blaming the woman in these situation,s but ladies we know better, lets start taking accountability for our actions and stop procreating with men that don’t want to be commit to us. That clock shit is real but its fucking us up. Its not cute, and what about the child, now they have to be subject to the parents selfish irrational decisions. Thoughts?

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Happy Women’s Day!

Hey Beauties!  I am so excited! Today is a day to celebrate US.  We do so much especially us new millennial women. We wear so many hats, both by choice, and by default.  We cook, clean, educated, we work full-time, are caregivers, Wives, Mothers and Bosses.  Its both tiring but yet rewarding. Lets enjoy being Women. Make sure to never forget to pamper yourself, take time out for YOU. Consider doing some of the following in your free time:

-Do your make up, plan a girls trip, go to the spa, get your hair done, have a glass of wine, get a massage, read a good book, start a goal journal, volunteer for a charity, treat yourself to a great dinner, buy yourself something new!

In honor of women’s day I want to share a few of my favorite make up items purchased in the past month below:

Too Faced Chocolate Gold Eye shadow Palette – the metallic colors are gorgeous and great for a night out or everyday wear. Sephora Liquid Lipsticks – they are so pigmented, feel light weight on the lips and a have all sort of amazing colors!  Please if your looking for new make up worth while check these items out!

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Keeping a Goal List

Hey ladies and Gents! I wanted to give you all some inspiration this morning!  Always always keep a personal goal list.  Even if you are married.  Never forget about who you were/are as an individual.  It may be easy to get lost in the noise of a relationship, marriage, becoming a mother or father and forget the personal goals you ave striven for yourself. Remember……not all marriages and relationships last, so who will you be once thats over.  I am not saying that you should look forward to the worst, I am just saying be realistic about how LIFE works.  Also if your a parent, remember children grow up, and become their own personal, with their own goals, wants and feelings which can make you feel alone when they are no longer with you everyday or grow up to be independent. With this being said, be sure to take note of personal goals both financially, and personally.  I like to write mine down, its something about seeing them on paper that makes me feel a bit more connected to them. Many folks like to make notes in the smart phone or computer.  Whatever works best for you, keep track and give yourself a realistic time frame.  For example, I been wanting to buy a house for the past year, and it seems like every time I get close there is a setback, financially.  These the thing about marriage, you both have to work as a team, and if one needs more time, you MUST compromise. 

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Staying Positive When the Grass looks Greener!

Hey Dolls! I felt like talking about the grass looking greener on the other side this morning!  Its so easy to look at someone else and say “they have it together, or they are lucky” but one thing never to forget is that people only show and tell what they want you to know.  Nothing is ever just perfect, and if it looks like it, its not real! LOL.  When you water your own grass, it GROWS!  Especially as we get older, when your not where you want to be in life, its so easy to get down on yourself, but you have to ask, what clock are we trying to beat???? Who says we are too late????  Are we still breathing, YES, so its not too late.  We may face hurdles but if we keep trying and stay persistent, GOD does answer prayers.  Free Will is just as important as Whats meant is meant!  When we stay positive, we influence the energy around us, and the angels are attracted to this which helps the guardian angels protect and walk with us towards what we want to manifest.  I am a believer in you can control the energy around you. 🙂

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Don’t get me wrong, I went through my negative moments in life, especially last year.  I wanted everything my way, and to happen NOW. I had to learn that many times MY way is not the RIGHT way, and sometimes TIME allows things to manifest in the BEST way for a much better turn out in the future.  As humans this is hard because we want everything right away.  I think when we rush or want everything NOW now NOW, that’s when the dust settles, we look back and wish we may have been patient or did things another way. Now we are looking at the grass thinking its greener on the other side, when its not, its just different from ours. What I hope you get out this post is to PRAY, stay Positive, and water your own grass because whats meant for you, IS for YOU.

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About Me Piink Diiva

Hello! My name is Nikki and I decided to put together this blog to discuss some of the interesting things going on in my life, and some of the hobbies that I enjoy. Life can be a roller coaster at times, and its rewarding to have an outlet where you can connect and make friends with others that may be going through the sames things, or have similar hobbies.  I want to share a few of my hobbies with you along with some of the journeys I have been experiencing lately.

I really enjoy traveling, I have been married almost two years now, and my husband and I are always planning a trip.  Its a great way to break up the work week and give us something to look forward too. I see my husband as my homie, best friend….which is sooo important.   I am working on getting my Passport now so we can start traveling out of the country, I am sooo ready for that.  I cant wait! I enjoy reading and writing but I just dont make as much time for it as I could when I was younger. I really look forward to getting back into reading and writing more, its therapeutic. I will vent, share new products, discuss great books, poems, products etc.   Please follow me and I will follow back.

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