Ladies….Are You Dating A User?

Ladies, beware of men that want to date you to benefit off you financially. If a man is asking you to make a financial commitment with him without a relationship long term commitment, he may be just using you for financial support or opportunity. Reason I say beware is because I have a friend who is smitten  by a guy she met out of state.  They have hung out probably a hand full of times due to the distance, but she still has strong feelings for him.  How I know is that she is always asking me advice, and my opinion on some of the things he does.  Typically when we ask questions about our significant other or someone we are dating, we are unsure about a situation or feel uneasy and may be looking for reassurance.  She has mentioned that they have conversations about marriage, and he says he wants to get married one day and that although havent spent much quality time together, he feels she is the one. Now, I know my friend wants to get married soon.  We have had conversations about this.  She already has children and wants to have another baby before 35.  She is currently 33 and will be turning 34 soon.  She also wants to be married to the childs father this time around.  So, I know she has picked his brain regarding marriage and if he is serious about her.  

What draws red flags about this guy to me are the following:

  1. He has never been up to see her in her own state, but she has been there to see him a hand full of times.
  2. He has a cell phone in his baby mama name which show ties to another woman still, which can potentially could mean he is still dealing with his sons mother.
  3. He seems to be giving empty promises of marriage and that she could be the one but how do you know when there hasn’t been enough QUALITY time together?  Its hard enough dating someone locally but out of state really needs to spend time together before commitment, and not just talk time on the phone.  Especially when kids are involved. 
  4. He is comfortable talking about OTHER women to her when he attends events or goes out, most men wont just speak about other women being interested in them if they are all about you UNLESS you specifically ask.  Most men don’t want to give you the impression they are still on the market or giving others attention when they are serious about you.

What makes me think he may be trying to use her for financial gain is that they opened a credit card together which I can tell she was reluctant to tell me, but she admitted this and was upset because he maxed out the card and has only been making the minimum payments.  Honestly, he may even skipped a few payment and paid late.  Next he is asking her to file his taxes and consolidate his student loans for him because he is in default and needs some help getting them back on track.  Next she needs a new car, and due to his lack of payments on the credit card they have together, this has affected her credit, now she may need a co signer or to get the car in someone else name.  WTF?! I will be  damned if I am doing all this for a wish and a dream that this person will marry me and continue sending empty promises.

I write this to say, ladies sometimes we get ahead of ourselves for LOVE and in the end, it FUCKS us in the ass literally, no pleasure lol.  This guy clearly sounds like he may have an interest in my friend but using her for financial help. If you think I am over thinking this, did I mention she sent him money a few times and has yet to pay her back???Now you see…..

If you encounter someone who seems like a leach RUN THE OTHER WAY~~~~

Thank you for reading! Do you have a friend or family member in a situation like this???

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What They Don’t Tell You About Having A Baby!!!!

Hey loves! Sorry again for being MIA, its been a pretty busy last few weeks. Probably the most busy I been in a long time.  I wanted to share some of the things they don’t tell us about giving birth!  You see the outcome which is a beautiful baby, but there arent enough warnings on all the many things that can and do happen during labor and delivery.  Lets not forget after delivery, there is whole other process that takes place which makes it even more exhausting.

First let me give you the real deal.  I was induced because of preclampsia.  I got this during week 31 of my pregnancy.  Now, I knew it was a chance I could get it because my blood pressure was elevated majority of the my second trimester.  It started to elevate and stay high around week 29.  One week I did not have protein in my urine (week 31) and week 32 I did, just that quick.  Swelling, high BP, protein in urine are all potential signs of preclampsia.  So I was admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks because if my BP stayed high they would be inducing me.  Sure enough after a 5 day hospital stay my BP wasn’t able to stay under control and they induced me at 32 weeks and 5 days.  This process consisted of pitocin which is an IV that helps to speed up labor, and increase contractions.  I was already 1-2 cm dialtated so they didn’t need to soften my cervix.  After about 8 hours of labor, it was time to push.  Now let me be honest, contractions hurt like HELL!  At first they aren’t that strong, but after you get closer to full dialitation those suckers are like FIRE! I got an epidural but honestly it didn’t help, I still felt the contractions.  The best advice I can give, is to push through those contractions.  For some reason, when you push it makes the sensation more bearable.  After the baby is delivered they typically let you do skin to skin, but in my case I saw her for about 5 min then they whisked her away to the NICU.  Since she was a preemie, she has to stay for a few weeks.

At my hospital they move you to the post partum unit which is called Mom and Baby unit.  Here, they give you time to rest, but they put this big ass pad on you, and some hemoroid pads in case you need them to help in that area.  You will literally be on the longest period of your life afterwards, the most common length of time to bleed after labor is 1-2 weeks.  The breast milk can kick in 2-4 days after delivery so dont be concerned if it doesn’t happen right away like I did.  It took mine about 2 days.  Its like a relief when the baby comes out because having the baby drops off like 10 pounds right there.

I wanted to share this experience because it is truly amazing but it was not easy ladies! I commend all the mommies out there because we truly are amazing! Thank you for reading and feel free to comment!

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The Truth About Labor and Delivery 📦🤰🏽

Hey! It’s been a while since I posted because guess what?! I had a baby!!! I still can’t believe I made it through that journey because ladies…it is truly a journey. The fact that we can produce a human within 9 months is mind blowing. I will say that it wasn’t easy. I can’t complain cause I didn’t vomit not one time in my first trimester and didn’t have much nausea. Second trimester was pretty easy until I got to 29 weeks. This is when the challenges began….stuffy nose, swollen ankles, shrunken stomach, weight gain, exhaustion and etc. Then to make it worst I got preeclampsia at 32 weeks pregnant! Thank goodness my baby is thriving and she is so beautiful, I’m in LOvE. When I saw that face it was so worth every ache. I will say I’m don’t want to go through pregnancy again, lol it ain’t for everyone. Delivery was pretty good, after 8 hours of labor she was out in 4 good pushes! Thank you lord!

Ladies how was your pregnancy and labor story? What was the worst and best part….feel free to share the reality of labor that they don’t tell us! Thanks for reading!!!!

Surviving R Kelly……..How long will it last folks?

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write an article on this topic or not. There are a lot of things I don’t know about this man and the stories that have been told about him.  There are a few things I do know via hearsay but nothing solid.  Honestly I feel sorry for this man and his victims.  I feel sorry for him because I truly feel he needs help and people around him have enabled his behavior.  I have read a few of the past stories about him online over the years and his childhood, and he has suffered sexual abuse and trauma which he has been vocal about.  Whats crazy is, many people in his circle including celebrities and fans have took a blind eye to actions that he has and swept them under the rug.  Now this document series comes out about him and victims that he has had encounters with are speaking out, but why has it took so long?  Shame, embarrassment, or has the #metoo movement allowed us to be more comfortable with speaking out?

I can only speak from my opinion which should be took with a grain of salt because I do not know this man personally or his victims. I will say that being from Chicago myself, I heard stories of him going to High school basketball games, or just being at some of the local Chicago high schools. I never had an opinion on “why” but being that I graduated in 2001 from HS, this was the prime time of his career, he was a a huge celebrity in the city of Chicago.  I never actually seen him at a high school but people that I knew who attended some of the schools he frequented such as Kenwood HS or Oak Park River Forest HS would see him all the time.  When the sex tape came out back in 2002, I knew a few people who attended Oak Park River Forest HS which as the school the alleged 14 year old girl attended.  Many of the people knew her and said that she was popular, had a new car which was paid for by R Kelly, and she played basketball so he would be at her games – weird. At the time the tape came out I believe she was a junior or senior and the tape had been made years ago, so a male friend of mine mentioned she switched schools once people started recognizing her from the tape.  From what I understand her family was paid off by R Kelly and after he beat the case there was no other mentions of it, and everything was denied that she was apart of it. These are the stories I have heard about that infamous sex tape.  I did see it way back then because some friends had a copy of it, and you can definitely tell it was him, no question.

I believe that many of the parents and young women were star struck, and I am pretty sure wanted to be in the presents of a celebrity or to be chosen as his protege.  People look and love opportunity  and many people will put pride, and self respect aside to obtain it, such as Reality TV stars. Lets be real – how REAL is reality TV and how much air time will you get if you are not willing to do something petty or demeaning for ratings?  I look at it the same way, many of these women probably were taken advantage.  It probably happens all the time by many OTHER celebrities, they just have not got caught or being protected. For example, Hugh Hefner is a common name, P Diddy – has been dating Cassie, and she was not at legal age, Tyga and Kylie Jenner…that was in the news for a while but then people turned a blind eye to it after they broke up. This mess has been going on for years. From what I can see in R Kelly’s case, these women were mentally manipulated and abused to an extent that they could not communicate with their parents or family.  Why has this been going on so long, and why didn’t anyone speak up or do anything about it?  Why now? It baffles me that it has taken so long for people to speak out or to have this man investigated.  Everyone is to blame! Also why are there NEW women, these stories have been publicized about him for years stemming back to 2001.

Last I want to speak on his ex-wife Drea Kelly, something isn’t right about her. I feel like she has known that this mess was going on, and wanted nothing to do with the man but was willing to stay quiet as long as the checks started rolling in, and her bills was paid.  Now that people are catching on, and women are speaking against him, I feel she is ready to jump on the band wagon when she could had spoke on this YEARS ago, especially if you are his ex- wife and have children with this man. I feel like she has been a victim of mental and physical abuse, and believe her story but why speak up when its convenient for you?  Google her and review some of her past video postings online speaking on the situation.  I will post an article I viewed on the Breakfast Club which gives a good insight on what one of the victims went through, I find her credible because she also testified back in his trial for the sex tape scandal.  You can check the interview out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcTs_tqTqEE

These are just a few of my random thoughts! What do you think?? Follow me at piinkdiivablog on Instagram.

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Good Afternoon! I am here to catch you up on s few of my beauty favorites for the month of December. If any of you beauties took advanatage of Sephora’s VIB sale then I am sure you have a few beauty finds to share so please feel free to comment and let and share a picture and name of some items so I can check them out.  Below are a few of my go-to beauty items. Enjoy!

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  1. Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Luminzer in Diamond Milk – I may a bit late with this but what ultimately pushed me into trying this color was that I am obsessed with the Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Luminzer in color Fenty Glow.  Her lip gloss gives just the right amount of shimmer and has amazing shine.  I like the consistency and the cost is pretty good for a high end product, just 18.00.  The Diamond Milk color does not have much pigment but its good for a neutral shine and can be put over a lipstick or matte color.  It goes well with any eye shadow color and highlighter.  Its worth checking out next time you visit your beauty store.

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2. Becca Volcano Eye-shadow Palette – I bought this on a whim during Sephora’s Beauty sale.  Its originally 46.00 but I was able to snag at 28.00.  The colors are amazing in my opinion, especially the shimmer colors.  I love the transition colors and the variety of shimmer options they give you.  You can do a nude look or play up your outfit with the high pigmented colors.  My favorite colors are Gilded, Lava, Midnight Sapphire, Red Rock, Crater,Granite and Haze.  Check it out next time your looking for a awesome palette to add to your collection.

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3. Loreal Kiwi Sugar Scrub – I have been using this off and on along with a few other favorite exfoliators and I really enjoy this scrub.  It has a light fruity smell and has the small kiwi scrub formula to help remove dead skin.  It gives you a light menthol feeling on the skin to show you it has been activated.  You then wash off with warm water and your skin has a soft feel and glow afterwards.  I really enjoy this.  Just be sure to rinse your face well so the small particles don’t get into your eyes.  The price goes for about 9.99 and can typically be found at your local drugstore.  Its worth checking out if you need a basic exfoliator. 

Thanks for reviewing and please share any find you know about! Enjoy!

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A Few Ways to Self Care in 2019

Good morning!

Happy Hump day…..I wanted to discuss a topic that is important to our physical and mental health.  Its easy to get caught up in the day to day of life and forget about keeping your self mentally and physically healthy.  I wanted to pinpoint some ways that have helped myself, along with others regroup, and get back on track when things get foggy.  First lets describe what self care is: “the practice of taking an active role in protecting ones own well being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”

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Below are some ways that can potentially get you on the right track towards loving yourself first and making time for the small things that are easily overlooked when it comes to your well-being.

  1. Keep a planner or notebook with your feelings and thoughts – this is a great way to keep track of your future goals and plans.  Its proven that when you right down a goal, it becomes a plan, a plan in return becomes an action.  Keep your thoughts organized and set yourself deadlines on when you plan on executing these goals  either short term or long term. I myself have went through tons of planners and after a while they get put somewhere and forgotten, so make sure you choose  planner that is easy to bring with you, or keep near in times that you need to jot down a thought/feeling. 
  2. Take a break away from Social Media – close up shop and disengage.  Stop sharing your life with people you don’t speak to day to day.  Does it matter what the guy from senior year high-school 15 years ago is doing, or what your ex boyfriends kids look like? NO…..certain things should be private.  I was a big social media person a year ago but when I started a family and accumulated more things of value, I wanted to only share this with those I trust and love.  Social media is a great way to connect on a business stand point and with true friends but also can cause depression and envy during times of stress.  Log off and put away the social media and focus on the meaningful relationships in your life. 
  3. Organize your space – Cleaning and throwing away old baggage is a great way to de-clutter and feel on track.  For example, organizing your closet, and getting rid of old clothes and shoes that you no longer where or fit can help make room for new items that you need.  Making room for new items makes you feel like refreshed and positive. Many times when you get rid of junk and items that are taking space, you can make a list of the items you need and re-vamp.  Shopping therapy is always refreshing so set a date to de-clutter.
  4. Seek Professional Advice – Talk to someone that doesn’t know you or lacks judgement about your situation.  It can be embarrassing to open up to those that may not understand what you are going through.  If you meet with a therapist or psychologist, they can give you insight on what your feeling and help you sort a few things out. These people don’t have the answers but they can be an ear to listen when you need to vent or figure out your next steps. Here is a free sight that will assist with finding a therapist in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
  5. Read something that makes you happy – Reading was always something I enjoyed doing as a kid.  Its nothing like a good book to let your imagination run free.  Create your own world and characters.  It lets you get away from your reality for a while. Think about what type of books your would enjoy, such as self help, non fiction, fiction, research, comics etc.  Go tot he local bookstore or library.  Download the Kindle app on your phone or tablet and read. I can admit I have got away from readying myself but will make it a point to add more literature to my day to day moving forward.
  6. Plan something to look forward to – Always keep a future plan on your agenda.  Write down a end point and look forward to completing this whether it be a celebration, vacation, spa day, dinner with the girls or fellas, fun night out, whatever it is have an end point to something fun that helps you get by each day and week. 

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These are just a few ways that can help put you in the right direction. Thank you for Reading! Feel free to comment on what works for you as well!

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Humans are selfish

I know the title comes off as a blanket statement but humans are naturally selfish. What I mean is that the way the world is designed, if our needs as human are not getting met, by nature we look for a way to feel this void. Many of the outlets can include sex, drugs, socialism, companionship, committing crimes, murder and many of decisions that may not be in our best interest.

Don’t get me wrong I think it’s important to always consider your well being and to respect others. If you don’t look out for yourself while walking this earth who will? But I really want to touch on the topic of selfishness that tends to hurt others. Often times as humans we get caught up in what we lack that it’s easy to disregard what we do have. The term grass is greener on the other side is a great way for example. If a human is not getting its needs met in a situation that’s toxic to your well being such as emotionally, mentally, physically as far as health is concerned, these need to be considered and yes you must do what’s best for you and that other person to get out of a toxic unfulfilling situation. On the flip side there is a such thing as selfishness for the wrong unnatural man made reasons such as cheating, lusting, stealing, hurting others, manipulation to get what you want, harm to others to get ahead, mentally and emotionally terrorizing another person because of your own hurt and pain….the lost can go on. This is what I mean by people are naturally selfish and when this is not understood, it’s easy for someone to hurt others to get needs met. It’s a learned behavior and many times a way to feel a temporary void that unfortunately we may not always be able to come back from.

What do you think about humans and selfishness? Thanks for reading!

The Rise of Single Motherhood

I’m sure this is a topic that many of us have known to become true in the last couple of decades for women of all races but I’m going to focus on African American women because studies show that we have the highest rise in single motherhood than the other groups.

There are many reasons we can point the blame to but the truth be told that it’s so common these days that we have become to accept it as normal. Let’s fist discuss some of the potential reasons that started this epidemic:

-Many African American fathers are dead or in jail. Half our men have been killed with by the police or crime involvement weather voluntarily or innocent bystander. Black men get locked up and much harsher sentencing than any other race so it’s not surprising many of them are in jail and unable to raise their children. Many of the reasoning for black men to go to jail are environment upbringings that put them in a situation to survive such as selling drugs for money, crime to feed family or finding no way out of unfortunate circumstances. These are reasons that we have known for many years challenge African American men.

This has trickled down to the households where girlfriends and wives of black men are left as widows or single mothers because these men are no longer in the home to help raise the family. So this falls on the shoulders of the women. It’s like a domino effect.

Now let’s shoot years later in the new millennium and examine how this mentality has become normal. For many years we have seen grandmothers, mothers, sisters, cousins, friends and aunts raise their children alone for whatever reason that the father is not involved or in the home that we have come accustom to accepting that this is what is alright. I say this now because almost everyone knows at least two or more black single mothers that never been married to the father, or decided to become a single mother by choice without hesitation. It’s like we come together as a sisterhood and support this thinking because we are so use to doing it alone due to growing up and seeing many of our fore-mothers raising children alone due to the circumstances above. When something is common it’s likely to become normalized and that’s why I feel it’s a rise in the black community.

We can’t forget the small group of women that feel they would be good moms and raise a child themselves without the father and this may potentially be true to the fact that women are becoming head of household, have higher educations in the black community to the male counterparts, less crime rate and affiliation, and hold jobs that allow the income to raise a child on their own. So with this belief many women feel empowered that they can be a great single mother by choice.

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There are upsides and downsides which affect not having a family structure. Many we already know and understand and sometimes it’s best not to be in a situation that is unhealthy for parents and child. In this situation a healthy co parenting situation will be better if not JUST as rewarding for everyone involved. If this is priority in most single family households, we could see less affects in the black community. What do you think? Thanks for reading!

Are You Serious -Skin Bleaching?

Today I came across an article that really had me blown away.  Honestly before I get started….I asked myself, why am I shocked, when your dealing with a manipulator, they will do anything to secure the bag or get ahead.  I am talking about Blac Chyna….she is promoting a new skin bleaching cream called “Whitealicious.”  She is promoting it in Lagos, Africa….a place where there is an epidemic of colorsim and skin bleaching. You going to a country of majority dark skin people and promoting a skin bleaching cream as to say that dark skin is ugly, and I can make you pretty by using this skin cream. As an African american woman, you would think she would have enough decency to say “NO.” I refuse to sell this crap to my people. Its unhealthy and not safe. But the superficial chick she is…….

First skin bleaching is unsafe, and unhealthy.  It can cause all type of skin diseases and problems long term.  When your uneducated and superficial, you will over look these issues and continue to expose yourself to become unhealthy.  The fact that an African american woman, who I am pretty sure knows that this is a problem and not safe will promote a product in AFRICA of all countries is sick. Here is a picture of the advertisement below: 

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Skin bleaching from my research is a huge issue in places like Africa, Asia, China and islands of Jamaica. Places where there are people of color. They feel like “white” skin is more pretty and attractive and you get more attention.  Now don’t get this confused with “light skin.”  I am talking “white” skin. Example below:

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Yall this is a hot mess! When you been brainwashed to believe that skin with melanin is not beautiful you will go to lengths to change it.  Whats crazy is that these things are unsafe.  The cause long term health issues such as :

  • skin turning dark or too light.
  • thinning of the skin.
  • visible blood vessels in the skin.
  • scarring.
  • kidney, liver or nerve damage.
  • abnormalities in a newborn baby (if used during pregnancy

I wanted to post this issue to see what your thoughts.  Thanks for reading!

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Celebrating Women!

I wanted to make a post centered around celebrating women! Being a woman comes with many reward and challenges.  We have come a long way for equal rights and I must say, LADIES…we are dominating but still have along way to go.  First lets celebrate what we have achieved in the past decades!  

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#1. Independence – We have been able to secure some of the top careers in places that we were never able to navigate such as politics, running for president, mayor, governor, CEO of some of the largest fortune five hundred companies. We now are mothers and head of household in many homes. We are able to raise children and have a prosperous career at the same time. Although we have a ways to go when it comes to equal pay among-st our male counter parts, lets celebrate this achievement thus far!

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#2. Education – We have been able to secure education status of Masters, Doctoral, JD status just to name a few.  In the past, we had to sit back and watch our male counter parts dominate the education system and get the better jobs, but now, ladies we are able to go as high as we want in the education system and change some of the though process from the past that we were to be barefoot and pregnant after high-school.  NOT ANYMORE!

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#3. Women of Color – I want to celebrate ladies of color because the struggle IS real. Although for ALL women have faced and issues, women of color have faced many additional challenges from racism, judgement, media and scrutiny just to name a few for decades and still have a long road to go. The day that all women can come together and make their power and presence known, we can overcome some of the challenges still faced as a GENDER. Forget a RACE, lets band together as a GENDER and knock the socks of these dick heads!  Unity is stronger than individual segregation. Lets celebrate women AND women of color pressing forward and staying strong when everyone else has been against us ALL. What you say?

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If there is anything else you believe should be celebrated by all women please comment and share, thank you for Reading!

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My Favorite Beauty Bloggers!

Happy Wednesday, or shall we say Hump Day! Today I wanted to do something different and write about some of my favorite beauty bloggers.  Its been three years since I started following some of my favorite beauty enthusiasts.  What I look for in a beauty bloggers channel is honesty, real reviews, unique style, flawless natural beauty as well as a BEAT face.  I will list some of my favorites so that you can enjoy as well!

The GlamTwinz334 – These girls were my first YouTube subscription. I am not sure how they came across my feed but after watching a few videos I was an instant fan.  What makes them unique is that they are twins and have such an interesting collaboration that that set out to grow their hair natural, and with length at that.  They have tailbone natural hair and they started their hair journey years ago.  They showcase tips and products they like to use with honest feedback.  They have a cute style that gave me a lot of ideas when trying to change up my hair.  They match their make up to what they are wearing and its fun to watch and get ideas on styles.  They are very particular about their style like me which I can appreciate.  Besides “Get Ready With Me make up tutorials, Fashion Hauls from stores like Zara, Pretty Little Thing, Asos, Fashion Nova and other online boutiques, I really enjoy their Favorite Product Reviews, they also have a VLOG channel where they show their travels, events, and just day to day life activities. Must See!

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Amynicolaox – She is also one of my first subscriptions. I like her channel because she does a lot of fashion reviews.  Most her clothes are high end but every now and then she will reviews on affordable lines.  She is very detailed and honest which I like.  Also, she is from Canada which is cool, and she has a  unique accent.  This makes her stand out and has variety.  She also is really into fitness so she aims to show alot of her work out routines, and healthy meal preps. If your into fashion and fitness she is pretty entertaining to view. Must See!

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Brannygiz – I love her channel because she is your everyday relate-able woman.  She is in her late thirties and reviews on affordable finds from store like Home Goods, Ross, Marshall’s, Sephora, Ulta and almost all the usual stores I enjoy shopping.  Whats cool is she is also from Chicago which so am I!  She does a lot of make up reviews, hair reviews, clothing hauls, home shopping hauls and VLOGS of her everyday life.  She is definitely a favorite because her looks are affordable and she aims her VLOGS to the average around the day woman of all ages.  She caters to a mature audience which can be hard to find in the beauty world, when majority are teens- twenty year old.  Must See!                                                                                                                                                unnamed (1)

If you have a chance, head on over to YOUTUBE with your favorite wine or coffee and check out a few of their videos! Thank you for Reading!

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Colorism

This is a topic I wanted to discuss because I have seen quite a few articles mentioning the continued up rise in Colorism and specifically in the entertainment world. Id first like to address what Colorism is, I describe it as color preference within a group of people that have the same nationality. I am going to focus this conversation on African American people, although it is found in other minority races, its a trending topic in the Black community.  

My first encounter with colorism actually started as a girl in middle school.  It was something so simple that I didnt realize would become a issue within the black community. I remember being in 7th or 8th grade, and this is the era in my life where I started to like boys and they started to like me back or at least weren’t shy about showing it lol. I am a fair skinned girl so I would fall into the light skin category.  I remember young boys would have the conversation about which type preferred to date light skin or dark skin girls.  It was funny that this was even a topic of conversation but I remember them saying, I prefer light skin girls but I’d date a dark skin girl if she was FINE.  As a child I didnt pay much attention to these young boys comments but they ended up following to Highschool and college.  Now there were guys who indeed liked dark skin girls but it would always have to be explained which made no sense to me for example, they would say something like ” I don’t like light skin girls because they stuck up or think their all that, dark skin girls are cool and down to earth or I like dark skin girls because my mom is dark skin.”  It seemed like it was always a REASON instead of liking all women regardless of color. 

I really started to pay attention to Colorism as an adult when it became pretty evident that in today’s society especially in the music industry some of the most heavily promoted entertainers are fair skin, for example: Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Rhianna, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Ella Mai, and these are just to name a few main stream artists.  Don’t get me wrong we have many talented beautiful dark entertainers but how many do we actually see as major headliners? I see some mainstream actresses that are brown skin getting exposure but alot of times its only in the black community such as Gabrielle Union and Issa Rae.  But how many more are great that don’t really get the mainstream exposure? Another example is Khloe Kardashian, she recently had a baby girl, and the father is Black. Her child came out brown skinned instead of the typical fair skin mixed look that many bi-racial babies have.  Her child received criticism from social media on pictures she posted that were comments about her baby being darker than her cousins who were also bi-racial. She had a taste of what it really feels like to raise a black child and some of the negativity we face in our culture. 

I watched this documentary on YOUTUBE called – Cake Soap – Skin Bleaching and it covered people in Jamaica bleaching their skin so they can look white or light complexion. Whats sad is that in this film they really believed that the lighter the skin the more acceptable they are even being Jamaican decent where they have naturally dark skin of all shades.  It was sad to see because they reason it became popular was due to a Dance Hall Rapper named Vybz Kartel who bleached his skin and said it was cool, and if you want to be cool too you will use the cake soap.  Its crazy how lyrics in a song or a preference can cause humans to put themselves in danger of their health to be accepted or considered pretty or handsome.  It was very disappointing to see and here is a link if you wish to check it out: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmY0_l6BNPc

I feel like we are all beautiful in our own way, and what makes you beautiful is your confidence.  You can please everyone and you should not try.  Black is beautiful because of the melting pot of shades and we are so blessed to have so many in our nationality it should be celebrated. Its okay to have a preference, but to say one is BETTER than the other is what I do not agree with.  Preference is personal choice but when one is put on a pedestal over the other that’s when it becomes a issue.  What do you think?

Thank you for Reading!

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