Its Alright not to have all the Answers……Really….its ok.

One of the hardest things for me to admit is that I may not have all the answers!  If you are like me I pretty much treaded through life with no major issues until you have to learn to compromise and prepare for the big shit like marriage, children, financial struggles, setbacks etc. I was usually the friend that my peers came to for advice, and typically always seemed knowledgeable about alot.  There is a time that we can hit a cross road and not know where to go, or which direction to take.  This can cause anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, isolation, and just put you in a very dark space.

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As I have got older and faced with more challenges its like a weight lifted to admit, I just may not know where to go from here, and to ask GOD for his guidance.  The scary part is sometimes we may not see his answer right away, GOD does not work off our timeline so we must be still and pay attention to his response.  That is usually to put us back on his original track before we drifted off making a “man made” decision. At this time, tell yourself, LORD, I don’t have the answer but I trust you will guide me through.

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When you think you have all the answers, it can be a false sense of confidence. If everyone had all the answers, there would never be any mistakes made.  We learn from mistakes, at least we are suppose too.  We cant be so hard on ourselves, but when we relinquish the control, the unknown answer will come to us to lead us back on track. That’s LIFE! Thank you for Reading!

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Is this Free Will or was I Destined to Go Through This?

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I am not the most religious person, let me start by saying that.  I always wondered how this THING called life is set up.  As I got older, things start to become more clear. Life is a journey, not a marathon. Every person has been through ups and downs, and has a set journey specific to them.  One question I have asked my mom many times: does everyone we meet significant in our lives serve a purpose? For example, when we get married, is this person destined to be our wife/husband? When we have children with someone, were we meant to “mate” with this person so our off spring can be created? These are questions that you can answer differently depending on how you look at it.

When we think about our life being made up of “Free Will, the meaning I found is: “the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion.”  Yes we can make decisions in life and they may not all be “godly” or what he has planned, but did we actually choose this as our decision, or was this God’s fate all along.  Sometimes I do think that we have free will during our journey planned by GOD for example, I do believe our journey is pre-determained.  When we listen to GOD or that spiritual nature such as “gut feelings, living by the bible, avoiding man’s sins, listening and learning who our guardian angels are on earth are all designed to keep us on the path GOD has for us.  When we add free will into it, this allows us to veer off path and make a decision that is not GODLY such as pre-marital sex – which can result in heartbreak, kids out of wedlock or with the wrong person, suicide, early death from what should not have been, pretty much anything sinful can lead us off track and cut life short or make obstacles in our life. 

When I think of Pre-determained, I truly believe that GOD has a plan for all of us. The meaning I found is: predestine (an outcome or course of events). Every soul born onto this earth in my opinion has a pre-determained path and a spiritual goal to fulfill. Many of us because of sin do not live out this goal, and if we do we go to the promise land which is heaven. These are not facts at all just my opinion based on how I look at life thus far. What do you think? Have you ever had an experienced that validated any of this?  Thanks for reading!

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PIINK DIIVA was Nominated for the 🥇Sunshine Bloggers Award 🥈Most Versatile Bloggers Award💃🏻

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I want to thank TWO of my awesome beautiful followers Marie Simeon and 😍Brownbeauty8 for nominating me!!!  I appreciate every follow who has taken the time to read my posts and share their opinion on life’s matters. 🌏 Below are some bloggers questions from the Sunshine 🌞 Award that I would like to share!!!

1. What is one of your favorite blog post that you have made to date?

One of my favorite blog posts is “Creating A Goal List.” This blog posts has been very inspiring because in life we get so caught up with working and personal obligations we forget about the goals we have set for ourselves. Everyone on earth has goals little or small but often times obstacles get in the way to keep us from obtaining them. I wrote that post to not only keep myself motivated but remind others to not forget their own bucket list!

2. What is a “blogging rule” that you think a blogger shouldn’t break?

A blogger rule that I believe shouldn’t be broken is taking someone else’s work, post and getting credit as your own. It’s alright to get inspired or to write about the same topic, but keep it original. This will keep your true followers loyal.

3. How far do you want to take your blogging? (Tv, journalist, etc.)

I would love to have my own YouTube channel but that is something potentially down the line. 

4. What is your blogging theme/niche? If you have one, why did you pick this theme/niche?

My theme or niche is Glamorous. I love anything that shows beauty, strength…that’s why I use the diamond as my blog theme, they are beautiful and strong.  Diva is someone who is focused and knows what she wants, confidence and PIINK is a feminine color and many of the topics although relatable to men and women, are catered towards my female followers.  I love when guys follow my blog because they can validate some of myself and followers opinions for good debate/discussion.

5. Who is your favorite blogger?

I have too many to name! 

6. Peanut butter or Nutella?

Peanut Butter

7. How long have you had your blog?

I have started PIINK DIIVA years ago but really expanded it to WordPress two months ago. 

8. Who is your targeted audience?

Women of all ages.

9. How many blog posts do you make in a week?

I typically do at least 4-5 a week.

10. Do you think using some vulgarity in your blog is a bad thing?

Not at all! Keep it real.

11. Why do you love blogging?

It’s a way of self expression! 

Thank you for reading and I will have new material soon!

Tips For Safe Online Dating

I wanted to write about something that has been mainstream in human culture for many years now…..ONLINE DATING!  As we all understand, times get rough and with busy lives and working, its hard to just go out and meet people.  After college, typically we are working, or if your a single mother, you have children so your time is limited. That is why online dating has become popular, and a way for singles to meet new people without leaving their home.  Its as simple as downloading an app on your phone. I will say that I have tried online dating before marriage, and although I met some nice guys, I wasn’t a fan of meeting a random person over the internet.  Call it cliche’ but I just like to know what I am getting myself into right when I lay my eyes on you, before you get my phone number.  It does not always work like this…(perfect world right?) Well if you are going to date online and give this a try here are some tips of advice that can help you not waste your time:

1) Be careful when it comes to Free apps such as Tinder or Plenty of Fish – these sites have sex predators who are on there to waste your time, or just try to have a fun night so really screen these matches if you plan on using the free route.

2) Instead of giving out your really phone number, try using a temporary number such as Google Voice or a free Google number where you can give someone until youhave got to know them better and see yourself connecting.  This way if it does not work, you can cancel the Google Voice number and they will not be able to contact you again.  Sounds mean….but it will save you headache in the later.

3) Maybe try meeting at a spot at a certain date and time before exchanging information, this way you can ensure that you like them and want to continue to pursue the friendship/relationship. You can let them know where you will be, and what color you are wearing in a public setting such as a Starbucks or public park setting.

4) Use more pay sites such as Match.com or Christian Mingle so that way if someone is seriously looking for a connection, they are going to be more willing to pay for a true match service based on compatibility etc. It saves time and headache for the folks that are just on there to waste time.

Below are some additional dating tips for single that are using Online match services.  Thank you for reading Enjoy!

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Motivational Quotes to Get You Through Tough Times

Today I wanted to share some of my favorite life quotes and why they are my favorites.  I like to discuss diverse topics on my blog and this topic is about inspiring quotes and the message behind it. Sometimes reading these quotes makes you think, and helps you to relate them to your own life. Let me know if any of these are your favorites or that has helped you in a time of need. Thanks for Reading Enjoy!

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Meaning: One of my biggest challenges is that I like to be in control.  Over the past few years as I have got older, I realize 75% of what happens to us in life is out of our control and the only control we do have is how we RESPOND to what happens. In life when you relax and let go of an outcome, you have more peace and its easier to accept what is….and how you will respond to it. When we try to control everything that’s when we end up disappointed.

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Have you ever went through something and thought you would never get over it?  I did with past relationships, situations etc.  But as time went on and I let things go, I really did get over it.  One thing is true time heals wounds. You ever look back and when things got better, it was easier to understand why things happened the way it did? It all made sense.

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When I speak with older people who have lived a full life, many of them are not concerned with the trivial things of life like someone younger.  They are more concerned with their health and being able to support themselves after retirement. Its funny how if you have a conversation with an older person around 80 years old, they have alot of wisdom and like to share it. Alot of the things we take for granted when we are younger, they cherish those moment because once they are gone, you cant get them back.  Enjoy life! Never take a day for granted, and make sure to LIVE.

Below are some other random quotes that I enjoy:

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Love vs. Lust

I remember before I got married, I though I knew what love was.  Its easy when your younger to think that the first boy you think is cute, talented and funny….he is it!  When your parents say things like “your young, your going to meet many people, give yourself time, don’t take dating too seriously at your age” you really don’t understand what they mean until your older, and have started to learn who you are in a relationship. That girl or guy you meet when your 16 years old seems life the perfect match because there is no responsibility involved. “Love” was easy and it felt good.  Realistically as you get older and realize what Love REALLY is, you realize that it was “puppy love.”  I dont want to say “lust” because I feel like “lust” is discovered when you get older and start exploring your sexuality. Its easy, especially as women to confuse LOVE for LUST.  It takes us “alot of the time” to get our heart broken by that “one” guy” to know it was lust and he doesn’t love us.  Once we go through that heartbreak, we try to be more careful not to fall into “lust” with the wrong guy. 

Being married and in a committed relationship has helped me see the difference between just being in a relationship, and actually LOVING someone.  When you “LOVE” someone for real, you care about their well-being just as much if not more than your own.  You are willing to make sacrifices, or put your personal “wants” aside to assist them on their life’s journey.  There are so many factors involved but LOVE is unselfish.  I look back on previous relationships and I was selfish, if it didn’t benefit me, I was not doing it, or I always had one foot out the door because I wasn’t certain or secure with that person.  This was like the two prior relationships I had in my 20’s.  Now being married, he is my best friend, we talk about everything, and I care about his life just as much as my own.  Its definitely takes time to learn the difference but its so important to do so.  I seen some great information’s below that explains more about this topic…feel free to share your experience, Thanks for Reading!

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Does Your Birthday Determine Your Sex Life?

Good morning! I thought the information was funny and cute at the same time.  Although we know our “sex life” is not that cut and dry based on our birthday, but its interesting to see how researcher put all this together based on when you were born.  LOL Check out the post below and see if this really relates to you.  Thanks for Reading! Let me know if yours was right!

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How To Understand Your Emotions

I wanted to share this post because it is easy to confuse the different emotions we feel day-to-day and understand why we feel them.  Many times we get conflicted feelings when something happens to us or if we are put into a situation where we have to make a tough decision. Decisions can cause us to feel all types of ways for example…..the ones below. The post below is interesting because I never really took the time to read the difference between some of the challenging emotions we may feel below.  As women, we have a tendency to make decisions out of emotion rather than logic at times. This is because we are naturally nurters and caring. When we make decisions out of emotions or say things we dont mean out of emotions, we have a tendecy to regret them later once that emotion has passed.

The feelings below seem negative because usually they are brought on by situations that we don’t necessarily like.  Always listen to your emotions….but never make a decision when your feeling emotional because they can change daily. Take a moment to read below…Enjoy! Thanks for Reading!

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Is History Repeating Itself?

As you know yesterday marked the 50 years since the assassination of the late great Martin Luther King Jr. Did you know that he was only 39 years of age? He was killed fighting for what he believe in which was personal rights. Today many brothers are losing their lives for no good reason. Maybe they were minding their own business, or a young kid walking home with a hooded sweatshirt that deems suspicious poses a threat.  There are many more stories we can discuss,  but the question is when does the senseless killing end.  Why don’t people of all color have rights?

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Officers are trained to “shoot to disable” not kill.  One officer stated that they “shoot if kill” if they feel its a threat. If this is true, why are there so many African American victims that were shot when there was no way they can pose a threat such as the LaQuan McDonald case in Chicago, where he was shot 16 times walking away from the police. Does it really take 16 shots?  He didn’t even have a weapon. Do you feel African Americans have personal rights today? Was the King’s death in vein? Is history repeating itself? Thank you for Reading!

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Favorites Of 2018 – Must Try!

Good morning!  Today I wanted to share some of my favorites.  Many of these things are random but its always cool to share interests so others can try them out as well.  My favs wont be in any specific order but definitely take a look and try them out if interested.

Restaurants – I am from Chicago so most of these are in major cities.

Benihana – I am a super fan of Hibachi.  My husband and I have tried many Hibachi restaurants but they “take the cake.”  I typically go with the Benhihana Delight which has Fried rice, teriyaki chicken and colossal shrimp. What makes them so good is you get a 5 course meal which includes Miso Soup, Salad with Ginger dressing, shrimp and veggie appetizer, fried rice and your main course. You also get dessert which is your choice of ice cream.  Prices are reasonable about 23-33.00 per meal depending on what main course you order.This is a great family outing or date night place. https://www.benihana.com/

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Ruth Chris – This place has the best Lobster Mac and Cheese, and stuffed chicken.  If you are looking for a great place to have a semi-expensive meal or date night, try them.  The stuffed chicken is seasoned perfectly. I usually get asparagus or the creamed spinach as sides. The prices range is about 100.00 or so for two people.  This can make a difference if you order drinks or not.  Its def worth trying out if you haven’t already. https://www.ruthschris.com/

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Twin Peaks – This is a new sports bar that has a Hooters type feel.  It has good bar food and drinks, with many TV’s to watch the game.  They also have an outside patio where you can eat outside, or watch the game on TV’s outside during the warmer months ( I am in Chicago, so its cold here lol). It has great lemon pepper wings, and Fish tacos.  They have beer specials and a decent selection of cocktail drinks.  If you have one in your area its worth checking out. https://twinpeaksrestaurant.com/

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Zara Clothing – I love this store because they have very unique pieces.  The jeans fit great but can be hit or miss depending on how curvy you are. This is a UK brand so the sizes run smaller than American sizes. Its a very fashionable store if you want to look cute and trendy and have some original pieces in your closet. Price wise when they have a sale, you can get some great deals, but they can run on the pricier side. They cater to men and women ages small kids to maybe about 40 or so. https://www.zara.com/us/

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Akira Store – This is my absolute go to store for shopping! This is the “Im a baddie, and wanna hit the club with my girls boutique. The clothes are typically for a women 18-40 ish depending on your style of dress.  They can be pretty pricey but if you catch a sale, your winning! They pretty much follow the latest trends and ship all over the country. https://www.shopakira.com/

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Sephora – If you a woman who loves make up, you will have a frenzy in this store, they are the queens of skincare and make up brands. I can go broke in this place. I have to go when I get paid cause if not I will walk out without my coins. They are pricey. Period. If you want to find great products and top of the line brands, this is your store.

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Crowds Queue For The Opening Of Sydney's First Sephora Store

Migos – Right now if I am in the turn up mood, I go to the Migos. Their culture II album is pretty good if you don’t mind the lyrics. They do talk about certain subjects that may give you a headache, but honestly I just listen to the beat when I am in a turn-up mood.

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H.E.R. – She is the bomb.  She has sultry soulful music that puts you in a laid back trance.  Its easy to ride to in the car, or listen to while getting dressed to go out. She has a soulful vice with a mystery feel.  Its definitely worth a listen if you like fresh R&B.

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NetFLIX – I refuse to pay for cable again because to me its such a waste of money. Half of the shows I never watched when we did buy it.  Honestly if you have internet, just having Netflix which has thousands of shows and movies for only 12.00 a month, you can beat it.  I also like HULU which is similar to NetFlix just has more TV shows. So if you looking to save on cable, I would go with NetFlix.  https://www.netflix.com/

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Here are a few awesome shows to check out on NetFlix if you decide to buy:

Stranger Things – Season 1 https://www.netflix.com/title/80057281

Seven Seconds – Season 1 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6297682/

Gotham – 5 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/80020542

Breaking Bad – Season 1 https://www.netflix.com/title/70143836

Sons of Anarchy 6 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/70143844

Walking Dead 7 Seasons https://www.netflix.com/title/70177057

Fellas – If you want a Cologne that smells amazing try these out next time your on a smell good run!

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I will be sharing more items soon!  If you try any of these please let me know your thoughts and if you know of any good stores, restaurants, products etc – please share, thank you for reading!

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How to Stay Positive While Waiting For Mr. Right

It seemed like yesterday that I was a single woman, exhausted with dating, and had reached a point where I was over it! It seemed like the older to became, and the more you obtained on your own, the options got smaller for potential candidates that would work long term. Now that I am married, and much in love with my husband, I can confirm it was very much so worth the wait for the right partner. I can definitely say dating the in 20th century is challenging.  You have so many outlets such as online dating, speed dating, Mobile apps such as Tinder, Social media etc. where you can meet a potential match. What makes this challenging is that sometimes too many options can become overwhelming and cloud your judgement on who would make an ideal candidate for you.

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Typically you think that if a guy was interested, he would pursue and court you to show he is serious about a relationship.  In this day and age, he can pursue you just to have a sexual encounter.  I believe that’s why its so important to make it clear on what you are looking for from the start so that no one feels led on or taken advantage of.  I know it is not that cut and dry. Most men don’t look for a woman he can jump into a relationship right away if he has options so, typically those types of guys have to be single and get it OUT their system before commitment or you will be a very unhappy woman trying to tame that type of beast.  If a man is ready he will be patient, and spend alot of time getting to know you, and learn if there is a potential future with you, with or without sex. So for my single gals I wanted to put together a list of ways to stay positive while waiting for Mr. Right, and signs to look for to avoid Mr. Right Now.

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Things to do to Stay Positive While waiting for Mr. Right:

1) Stack your Money – A woman with the bag can make moves as she deem fit. You wont have to wait for anyone to take you out, and you can spend that free single time traveling and seeing the world with friends.  There is nothing more attractive than a financially stable woman who can make her own and add to.  Save and cut back on areas that you can so when the right person comes along, you have funds set aside for a potential wedding, starting a family etc and to treat yourself.

2) Build a close relationship with GOD- Learn more about your spiritual side, connect and have a bond with him to show you the way while in wait.  Talk to GOD about what you want the out some of the next few years to be, and listen closely to the steps he advises to take.  This will keep you sharp and positive while in wait, and away from wolves in sheep clothing.

3) Keep a Goal list – Keep a list of goals written down.  This will allow you to check off each life goal you have been wanting to accomplish while in wait.  Once you get married and start a family, many of the goals will be put on hold because now it wont be just about you.  Focus on achieving these goals so that your focus is not on rushing to get married, or Mr. Right.  This will also help you look back on life with minimal regrets on what you should have done.

Signs to Look for to avoid Mr. Right NOW:

1) If a man tells you he is not looking for nothing serious believe him. Do not make it more than what it is, and definitely do not put yourself in a situation to get pregnant by him because promise you that it wont work, and he will NOT marry you.  You will end up single and a mother which makes thing snow 10x harder to date, and Find Mr. Right because you are stressing about making things work with Mr. Right Now’s child.

2) If your going to sleep with a guy early, make sure you have a conversation with yourself that you will NOT make it more than what it is because the worst thing you can do is have a sexual encounter with Mr. Right Now, and you are not in a commitment.  If there are no talks of a relationship than you will NOT be the only one he sleeps with.  It does not matter how good you put it on him. Trust me if you are trying to put it on him, someone else is too.  Run….far away. Do not get your heart tied up in this mess.  If you want a conversation time to time thats cool too, but keep other options and do not make sex a consistent thing with this guy, it will back fire when the sex gets old. I seen this happen to too many women.

3) Avoid lay up and chill situations. If he can’t take time to have a conversation, spend time out with you, he isnt on anything serious.  Never assume, always let him tell you and show you he is interested.  Don’t sleep around of course, but date different people to see what you like.  Have options, men keep options right?  Always remember we are in control (women) if sex happens so if it does, you can only blame yourself (unless he forces himself on you of course.)

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Well I hope this helps my single ladies who are still in the field, trust me I been there but Mr. Right is out there and waiting for a beautiful woman like you just avoid those pitfalls I listed. 😉 Thank you for reading.

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